


Salad Days

by Carazard



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Highschool AU, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-09
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2017-12-31 22:10:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 37,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1036944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carazard/pseuds/Carazard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Highschool AU, eventual USUK.<br/>Being in an awkwardly complicated 'love-triangle' with your best friend and the popular American kid in his science class was not a situation Arthur had wished to be in. With end of year exams coming up; rumours flying about everywhere; arguments, make-ups and yet more breakups around every corner; its a wonder a student makes it through school without exploding from stress. Arthur felt the exploding option might be easier than crawling his way through personal, social and academic issues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introductions and a Social Update

Chapter One: Introductions and a Social Update

Arthur Kirkland had always been one of those kids that enjoyed school. He'd always felt empty and disappointed whenever the summer holidays came about. Mainly it was because he would miss his friends; even if they did see each other in the holidays, it was always different somehow.

Arthur had been like this all his life, some people agreeing with him, and others raising an eyebrow wondering how anyone could like _school_.

However, this liking for school had all turned on its head at the beginning of September for Arthur. The start of Year 10. The start of his GCSE exams. The gateway to hell its self.  
Within a week of Year 10, Arthur had soon realised why everyone had hated school so much. Lessons were no longer fun, as he was split up from most of his friends as they'd chosen different subjects to him. In Year 9 it was rare that they were given homework, now it was rare they weren't given the dreaded paper, more often than not due in within a few days. Every lesson felt it was important, too, like it held a scary amount of the future in it. Year 9 you could just slack off and send notes to each other if you felt slightly tired; it wasn't like it mattered. Now, Arthur felt permanently tired, had massive bags under his eyes, and knew that if he switched off for even a minute then there was a scary chance of him not understanding the rest of the lesson. Arthur rolled over in his bed, trying not to think about the homework that he'd forgotten to do.

Owain, Arthur's big brother had warned him of this. Owain was in his second year of college, and was enjoying it a lot more than Arthur was Year 10. Owain had said Year 10 was the year you discovered who your real friends were, and also the extent you cared for them. It was also the year that self harm and depression was no longer just in fictional teenage books, and it became a real struggle, affecting everyone that it touched. It was the year about 10% of the students decided to come out as gay, and then change their minds the week after and say they were bisexual, and the week after that they were straight, until finally they decided that they were confused.

One thing Owain had told him to look forward to was that you often made a lot of substantial bonds, and 'discovered yourself' properly. Also you discovered a load of cool bands that you'd never heard of before, and were suddenly the stars of all the posters on your wall. Arthur was mainly looking forward to the band one.

Though none of this had yet to happen to him, two weeks into term. He'd noticed no social changes, or changes about his personality like Owain had promised him.  
His new classes were interesting, thankfully. He'd decided that Separate Sciences was his favourite. Separate Science was basically a lesson for the kids that wanted to go in a science-related direction; they took an additional three lessons of science a week, and got an extra GCSE in science at the end of it all.

It wasn't so much the science that Arthur was interested in, however. More the people in his class.

First there was his rather odd teacher Mr Leroy. He was an interesting man. Sometimes very moody, however others very playful. For instance, last year on the 4th of July, he'd taken out a Bunsen Burner and a pan full of water, cooking hot dogs. He then took the American student, Alfred F. Jones, to the front of the class, handing him a hot dog and instructing him to give a hot dog to whoever wished him a 'Happy Independence Day'. The lesson had ended with everyone happily eating hot dogs while being remotely confused by the randomness of the situation. Arthur hadn't been in the class to experience it in person, but Mei Xiao had told him all of the details in their weekly flute lesson.

Alfred F. Jones was another interesting element to his science lessons, him and his odd group of friends; Alfred, Matthew, Kiku, the Italian brothers and Antonio. Arthur frowned as he thought about them. They were all very interesting. All of them were very clever, to be fair the majority of them were quite... nice-looking, and they were all incredibly popular. Yet, somehow they managed to be very nice people, from what Arthur could gather, and all had a bit of a closet-geek side. They were everything popular people _should_ be, but never were.

Of course, St. Katmore High school had its fair share of your usual bitchy popular kids, though through the years, they'd slowly lost more and more of their reputation, and most people were looking through the layers of makeup or the abundance of foul language and began to see them for who they really were; judgemental cunts that were given power, drugs and more often than not hair extensions. Yes, they still had power, but a significantly reduced amount than one might think.

Alfred was a particularly odd one. Lovely guy, yeah. Arthur hadn't spoken to him a lot, but he'd heard all about it from Gilbert last year. Gilbert was the guy Arthur had handed position of 'Best Friend' over to back in Year 7. He was still trying to work out if that was a good decision or not. Gilbert was a lovely guy, yeah, but a bit of hard work at times. Arthur remembered last year the stress of Gilbert's life when he was 'in love' with Alfred.

It had all started in the summer, when Alfred had begun to hang around the music classroom, where Gilbert tried to impress people by playing his guitar. It had worked with Alfred and the two of them had become fast friends. This did not help Gilbert's heartache, and he had planned to confess to Alfred his 'love'. Incidentally, the exact moment Gilbert was about to confess, Alfred had asked him out on a date. Over the moon, Gilbert had nearly fainted. He would be happy forever.

Until Alfred broke up with him for an unknown reason the following Monday.

Arthur remembered the tears Gilbert had shed while telling the story over and over again on how the breakup didn't even happen as a result of anything. He just woke up one morning, a terrifying breakup text waiting for him. Gilbert still had no idea what he'd done wrong.

Though what Arthur had found most intriguing about the story was the sexuality issues. Alfred had never mentioned anything about being gay, or bisexual or whatever. Nor were there any rumours about him. However his and Gilbert's relationship wasn't exactly secret. Gilbert told whoever he could about it. Everyone knew that Alfred F. Jones had dated Gilbert Beilschmidt, but no one had said anything. Whether it was because no one wanted to get on the wrong side of Alfred and his well deserved power, Arthur didn't know, or it might've just been a show of maturity and lack of caring from the student body. Arthur frowned, neither seemed likely.

That was a thought that'd he'd tried to keep hidden away. _Sexuality_. Arthur shuddered while lying in his bed. Was he gay? Bisexual? Pansexual? Bi-curious? Straight? He didn't know. All he knew was all summer he'd done... 'stuff' with another boy in curiosity and attempt to work as rebound for the heartbroken boy. All that they'd achieved was a few awkward joint orgasms, and a jeopardized friendship that they'd managed to fix by the skin of their teeth. That boy was Gilbert. Every time Arthur thought back to summer, his toes curled in guilt, cursing at himself for being so stupid and horny and just being just a bastard towards Gilbert.

_Fun times,_ Arthur thought sarcastically.

He glanced at the clock. The red figures told him he'd better sleep or he'd be very tired tomorrow.

Hm. Monday tomorrow. Separate Science. Maybe he'd be able to find out a little more about Alfred.

 

"Francis why are you calling me at eleven o'clock at night?"

"Because, _mon amie_ , I simply have no one else I feel I can turn to."

"Oh? Why, what's happened?"

"Me and Emma broke up."

Bella sat at the other end of the phone line, unsure how to respond. She was very happy that Francis and his frankly _awful_ girlfriend had broken up. She was literally one of the bitchest girls that Bella had ever met. Emma was manipulative, two faced and controlling. What Francis had ever seen in a girl like her was beyond Bella. Though, Bella knew that Francis did not share her glee. He needed a friend right now rather than someone to laugh in triumph.

"Ah... You okay? What happened?"

There was a pause on the other side of the line, and then finally Francis answered in a timid, quiet voice that Bella wasn't used to hearing. "I broke up with her. The details aren't important, I don't want to talk about them. We had an argument. She called me a dick and said I was using her. At that point I snapped. Everyone thinks that I'm oblivious to the fact that she was using me; that I was in the dark the whole time. By the time I'd figured out people were right when telling me that she was using me, it was too late; I was already in love with her. I still am. How will I ever live another day, Bella?"

Bella frowned, rolling her eyes, "Oh Francis don't be so melodramatic. I'm here to give you sympathy but seriously you guy were dating for a month or two. No way you were in love. And yes you will live another day, I'm bringing in waffles to school tomorrow, remember?"

Francis sniffed, "Okay perhaps I'll live... and perhaps I wasn't in love with her. But she was using me. And I did break up with her. I'm regretting it. Was that the right thing to do? Shit it wasn't, was it? I should go back and apologise..."

"Francis, Jesus Christ stop _worrying_ , you're never like this! Personally I think you were right to break up with her, yeah? Though admitted, I am biased massively. Things'll be okay, yeah? Calm it. This really isn't like you. And look on the bright side, she'll always take you back because she's desperate for a fuck buddy."

"I was not her fuck buddy, Bel! We didn't even go that far, Jesus what do you take me for?"

"Ah but she did beg you at least twice for it, didn't she?"

"... Yes. And I refused all five times she asked."

"Five times! Jesus she was desperate!"

"Hm." Francis was silent for a moment, and Bella was a little worried she'd offended him, until he said, "Thanks, Bel. I do actually feel a little better now. I'm starting to see that I was mad to be with her in the first place... It still hurts though."

"Of course it does, Francis. Don't worry, you'll get over her pretty soon, I'm sure? And Shell'll give you a good cheering up tomorrow. Now get some sleep froggie, school tomorrow!"

"Do _not_ call me froggie."

"Why? It's cute!"

"It is not cute. I swear I will kill Arthur for coming up with that blessed nickname. Talk to you tomorrow, Bel."

"Bye!" Bella hung up, stuffing her phone under her pillow as she heard a knock on the door.

"Why're you on the phone at eleven at night?" Lars poked his head through the door.

"Because Francis is having a 'crisis'. He and Emma broke up."

Lars nodded half-heartedly. "Oh. Night."

"Close the door on your way out! Night!" Bella turned over in her bed, snuggling up to a pillow and sighing. So the first drama of the term had begun, apparently. She wished it'd been a little more... dramatic. An inevitable break up wasn't one thing she was going to tell stories about in years to come, after all.

 

"Shell!"

"Ah Liz there you are. I was about to leave without you, girl. You seen Ludwig on your travels? He asked us to wait for him but he hasn't turned up... Not like him to be late."  
Elizabeta frowned, "Nope haven't seen him. Though if we don't leave now, we're gunna be pretty late..."

"We'll apologise to him when we get to form. I'm sure he'll understand," Michelle said with a shrug, "I told Bella and Francis to meet us at the gate. And Arthur's walking from the opposite direction so he'll meet us in form like usual.

"Did you hear about Francis and Emma?" Elizabeta said, grinning.

"I know! _Brilliant_ isn't it? Like, in the nicest way possible. Yeah, Francis is sad but at least she won't be using him now..." Michelle said.

"Yeah, Jesus it made me sick seeing them together," Elizabeta shuddered, "Just knowing that she was going to hurt him, and we couldn't do anything about it because he was so... happy."

"Well it's over now, at least. He can move on. Hey speaking of, what about your little crush on Gilbert, Lizzie?"

Elizabeta spluttered, blushing, "That was last year. Not sure what I saw in the little shit. Probably because he was just so confident, I don't know. But yes. No more crush on Gilbert I can tell you that. Nothing there. Besides nothing would have ever happened. Ever."

"Hmmm? How can you be so sure?"

"Well have you seen him and Arthur?"

Michelle rolled her eyes, "Gil and Artie aren't together. Not only would Arthur have told us, but Arthur isn't even gay! And why on earth would there be a thing between two best friends?"

"I can argue with literally everything you just said there Shell. Number one, why would Arthur tell us if he was doing stuff with Gil, or if he were gay? And number two, duh of course things happen with best friends. Especially if two people get curious. They start to talk about the things they'd like to do in the future... and it just happens and they do them and then feel full of regret afterwards."

Michelle shot a glance at Elizabeta, "You seem awfully confident in your reasoning, Lizzie. Perhaps a little too confident, hm?"

Elizabeta frowned, "What're you getting at?"

"You haven't had a friend you've been... fooling around with, have you?" Michelle said, waggling her eyebrows.

"No! I am perfectly happy waiting for stuff like that until I have a boyfriend!" Elizabeta said confidently, before adding, "Or girlfriend."

"Oh yeah... You came out didn't you..." Michelle's tone was casual. In all honesty she had actually just forgotten that Elizabeta had announced at one sleepover that she liked dicks and chicks equally.

"How can you just forget something like that, Shell?"

"Because it just doesn't really matter, does it? Not like you've changed since then." Michelle shrugged, "Oh hey, Bel and Francis are over there!" She ran off, waving.  
Elizabeta blinked a few times, and then ran after Michelle. She reached the three, about to grin and ask Francis and Bella how they were, but by the expressions on their faces it was very obvious how they were.

"What's up?" Elizabeta asked, furrowing her eyebrows, not sure what to say.

Francis was looked close to tears, Bella patting his back encouragingly with a rather pained expression on her face. Michelle was watching, worried, but didn't quite know what to say or do.

"Um, guys?" Elizabeta asked again when there was no reply from the two.

Bella sighed, giving Francis a final pat before coming a little closer to the two girls, speaking in a hushed voice, "I'm sure you heard about him and Emma," she whispered the name even quieter.

"Yeah?"

"Well um... he was fine about the breakup, or as fine as you could expect him to be..." Bella said before pausing to send a sympathetic glance at Francis, "that is until Emma came along just now screaming at him that he was a cunt and deserved to die, a load of shit about how he was using her and how his dick was tiny and whatever. It only added to the wound that Alfred's lot were walking past at the same time..."

Michelle and Elizabeta winced slightly, not sure what to say so just sent empathic gazes at Francis who looked as white as a sheet.

"No, no I'm fine. I am perfectly _f-i-n-e_ ," Francis straightened up, straightening the tie of his school uniform, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat. "See? Fine. She can say what she wants, she's still wrong. And if Alfred's lot believe the shit she said about me then more fool them. Apart from Matthew, he's too cute to be a fool."

Bella rolled her eyes, about to reply before she stopped, seeing Arthur walking their way and waving, "Artie's here, guys!"

Arthur strode over, waving goodbye to Mei Xiao, the girl who was walking with him, "What happened here? Did Frog and Emma have a fight?" Arthur asked with a mocking grin.  
Everyone froze, and Francis whimpered a little.

"Oh. Not funny then." Arthur said, his voice stiff but his eyes wide with alarm as he genuinely hadn't meant to hurt Francis with the joke. He had no idea the two had broken up.  
"Francis broke up with Emma, was just getting over it before Emma came over screaming abuse at him right as Alfred and his lot were walking past," Michelle explained to Arthur under her breath.

"Oh. Wait Alfred? Alfred F. Jones Alfred?"

"Yes what other Alfred do we have in this school?"

Arthur frowned. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to clarify that.

The five of them stood there for a moment, no one quite sure what to say. Luckily the silence was filled with their maths teacher, Mr Harlan coming over.

"Oi you lot, quit standing around and get to form will you?" He said. The five ginned at him in apology, sulking through the gate right as the bell went.

"See you first lesson, sir," Bella called as they scurried off to their form class, hoping they wouldn't be too late.

 

"Late. Disappointed in you all, you little shits. Even you Artie!"

"Oh shut it Gilbert," Arthur said as he walked through the door with the others, glaring at Gilbert before sliding down in the chair next to him. "Oh hi Ludwig, didn't see you there."

Ludwig nodded in greeting.

"Ludwig there you are! We were waiting for you at the gate but you didn't turn up! I thought you were waiting for us?" Michelle walked over sitting down and frowning at Ludwig.

"Sorry. Had something to do in P.E. so I had to be in earlier."

"Well you could've told us."

Ludwig didn't reply, and just carried on reading something important-looking. Michelle frowned, but turned to talk to Elizabeta, Francis and Bella who'd just sat down.  
"Yo man and how are you?" Gilbert clapped a hand on Arthur's back, making Arthur cough and splutter a little, "Oops. Sorry."

"Hm. No worries. But things are all right yeah," Arthur said without really thinking, "You?"

"Normal. Pretty shit really. Though saying that nothing to be happy about, but nothing to be depressed about, y'know?" Gilbert frowned, "Apart from the fact Alfred got a haircut."

Arthur couldn't help but roll his eyes, "Still not over him? You did break up what... four months ago now?"

"What? Of course I'm over him you prick. Why would I still be holding on to him, it's not like we're ever going to date again anyway."

"Admit it, you're not over him."

Gilbert paused, looking determined not to give in before he finally caved, his eyebrows shooting up and he rested his head against Arthur's shoulder, "He's so fucking attractive. And fuck his personality ugh why is he so perfect the little dick."

Arthur patted him mindlessly, "I'm sure you'll be over him soon. But if I'm honest, I think he's changed since you two were dating. He got too high up in the hierarchy. Popularity went to his head. He's not the guy who hung out in music with you all the time talking about Star Trek and anime. Or at least he'd locked up that side of him."

Gilbert frowned, "No way, Alfred wouldn't be like that. He'd keep himself over his social status..." Gilbert trailed off, not sounding so sure.

"Hm whatever, I'm sure you'll be over him soon."

"Right class," Mr Ruskin, their form tutor walked in, late as usual, "Sorry I'm late. I'll take the reg."

After the register had quickly been taken, the bell rang signalling the start of lessons.

"Great, maths. See you in history, yeah?" Arthur called to Gilbert as he followed the others out of the class.

"Sure thing, man. Oh, mind if I stick around with Kiku at break and stuff?" Gilbert called back.

_Hm, Kiku_. Arthur had never pictured those two being friends, but he shrugged it off, "Sure. See you later!"

 

Arthur looked at the clock with a frown. Ten more minutes until his normal science lesson was over and separate science began. He sighed again, probably the tenth time this lesson. He wasn't sure why he was looking forward to separate science so much. It was only separate science.

"You okay there, eyebrows?" Francis asked in a hushed whisper.

"Perfectly fine, frog," Arthur replied with a frown, though then felt a little bad. "Look I'm... I'm sorry about this morning."

Francis frowned, "It didn't exactly cheer me up..."

"Yeah... Sorry."

"It's okay, I guess."

"Jesus you could sound a little more forgiving..."

"You're the one who's meant to be apologising here, don't have a go at me!" Francis said, his voice a little louder than was usual, causing Mr Leroy to frown at the two of them.  
The two sat in silence for a moment, just doing their work.

"Look I'm sorry for being a bit... snappy. I'm not in the best of moods," Francis explained, his voice very low now. He sounded a little more apologetic and friendly than before.

"S'okay. I'm sorry too," Arthur said, ashamed to admit it for the third time. "Shame about you and her, really. She made you happy, at least. Though she was a bitch."

"Yes, she was a bitch, one that'd I'd already fallen in love with before I realised it..." Francis sighed.

"Oh don't be so melodramatic, frog."

Francis shot Arthur a glare, but didn't attempt to continue his pity party. Instead he changed the subject, "How're you and Gilbert, then?"

Arthur made sure not to show any physical reaction other than slipping as he underlined something in his book, giving him a lovely ink line down his book, "Shut it, I told you that stuff was over."

"Over you say? Somehow I don't quite believe you. But I'm the only one that knows?" Francis sounded a little too smug for Arthur's liking.

"I needed to get it off my chest to someone, and you were the only person that wasn't going to over react and make a big deal out of it. So thank you for your help and advice on the matter, but can we please drop it, because it's a bit of a... touchy subject."

"What, do you feel guilty?" Francis leaned in, putting his pen down. Arthur cursed, why was Francis so interested in a topic that was obviously making Arthur feel so uncomfortable?

"Because I feel like I used him. There I said it, now can we please drop the subject."

Francis looked as if he was about to ask more, but luckily for Arthur, the bell went. Francis gave Arthur the eyes of 'this conversation isn't done', but left with Bella and Lars to go off to their next lesson. Michelle and Elizabeta sat down on the chairs near to Arthur, and Ludwig took the seat next to him. Arthur frowned. Not that he didn't like sitting next to Ludwig, but the boy hardly spoke, and he always felt awfully left out whenever Michelle and Elizabeta were laughing their heads off.

Arthur sat there twiddling his thumbs waiting for the lesson to start. The door opened behind him and in walked Mei, the girl Arthur actually quite good friends with. Kiku had introduced them. Mei and Arthur were both in the school band and both went to the same Karate class, they also lived quite close to each other. Because of the amount of links between them, Arthur and Mei had struck up an unlikely friendship.

"Artie! You coming to band tonight?" Mei asked, her friend Lien Chung not leaving her side.

"I am," Arthur said with a smile, then called to Michelle, "Shell, you coming?"

"Where?" Michelle leaned back in her chair so's to look at Arthur.

"Band, you going? What about you Ludwig?" Arthur asked, trying not to get distracted by Alfred and his friends who were making their way into the classroom.

"Yeah I'll be there. How would we manage without our only clarinet?" Michelle smiled before turning around to continue her conversation with Elizabeta.

"I can't come sorry. I'm quitting," Ludwig announced.

Arthur and Mei looked at him as if he'd gone mad, "What?"

"I'm quitting. I'm taking up another athletics class on a Monday night, and I don't particularly like band anyway. I'm quitting."

"You can't _quit_ you're our only tenor horn!" Mei cried in shock.

"Find a new one, I'm not going," Ludwig said simply.

Arthur frowned at Ludwig, "Fair enough. See you later Mei."

Mei departed with a wave and dragged Lien Chung down to their seats across the room.

The lesson swiftly began with Mr Leroy announcing that his dog had just given birth to puppies, and everyone had better be good because he wanted to go home and see them rather than sitting in an after school detention.

"So no calling out _Alfred_ ," Mr Leroy had said.

"What!?" Alfred had said with a grin, "Aw come on sir, you love me! And I don't call out, I just... think loudly."

Arthur had frowned whenever Alfred had said that. If it were anyone else who said that then it would have really annoyed him. Now he thought it rather funny. Arthur wasn't conscious of the fact that he was staring at Alfred before he turned at Arthur, smiling. Arthur panicked a little, forgetting to smile back before he averted his gaze.

_Shit now he probably thinks I'm a moody bugger_ , Arthur thought to himself. He made a personal oath to catch Alfred's gaze again and smile to ensure that he knew that Arthur wasn't a complete twat at least.

The science lesson it's self was actually quite interesting if Arthur had bothered to listen. They were doing chemical bonding and isomers. Arthur did enjoy chemistry, but found himself more bothered about Alfred than atoms. Arthur didn't watch Mr Leroy while he spoke, instead he stared at the blank pages of his chemistry notebook, occasionally looking up at Alfred before quickly looking away in case Matthew or Antonio looked up and caught him staring.

"Arthur, so can you define an isomer for me, please?" Mr Leroy asked, pulling Arthur out of fantasy.

"Um... yes it's a... chemical..." Arthur said, struggling for words before giving up and ending it pathetically with "...thing..."

"If only examiners would accept 'thing' as an answer on your papers, and we'd all have A*'s under our belts. Try listening, Artie?" Mr Leroy grinned, and then explained the actual definition of an isomer. It went through one of Arthur's ears and out the other. Arthur was too busy watching Alfred giggling at Arthur's pathetic response to the question. The laugh looked nice rather than spiteful to Arthur's relief.

Arthur couldn't help but wonder why Alfred had smiled to him. Like, they'd only spoken once or twice before now. He was probably just being polite, after all he did seem to be a very nice guy. Well... very nice might be pushing it. Pleasant was a better way of phrasing it.

_Perhaps he has a crush on me_ , Arthur thought to himself as a joke.

Twenty minutes later Arthur felt like banging his head repetitively against the desk, wishing he'd never made that fucking joke to himself. The 'joke' had now turned into a conspiracy theory zooming about his mind and refusing to leave. Arthur, although he knew that it was about ninety nine per cent certainly untrue, had managed to actually convince himself that Alfred was secretly crushing on Arthur, but simply couldn't tell Arthur about his undying love because Arthur and Gilbert were best friends, and that would be too mean to Gilbert. Everyone knew you don't date your ex's best friend unless you're a total dick. That was why Alfred decided to express his feelings as much as he could through little friendly smiles.

Arthur knew that was certainly not the case. Or the rational side of him did anyway. Still the part of him that had kept his wild imagination had already come up with a conversation between Arthur and Alfred of them standing outside science after school, with Alfred confessing his feelings, and Arthur rejecting him and explaining why.  
Arthur wanted to punch something. He did not want to be imagining this! Not only did he feel like he was betraying Gilbert in a terrible way, but he also was warming up to the imaginary rejection conversation a lot more than he felt appropriate. Arthur gritted his teeth, determined that for the last part of the lesson he would actually concentrate on isomers and atoms and... and...

One look at Alfred told him that that was definitely not happening, or at least not this lesson.

Arthur had begun to space out again as he was staring at Alfred, not really looking at Alfred, more through him. Of course it was at that point Alfred looked up and saw Arthur staring at him. Arthur panicked, blinking.

_SMILE YOU FUCKING TWAT_ , Arthur's inner voice screamed at him.

And for once he managed to remain composed and calm, and smile at Alfred - there! Now he would know Arthur wasn't a complete dick.

Arthur found himself rather satisfied upon seeing Alfred's returning smile. Then he felt confused as to why he was satisfied. Then he simply gave up trying to understand anything he was feeling and just doodled in the margin of his book for the remainder of the lesson. At least it was lunch next.

 

"Homework is to write about Juliet's anxieties, class. I want it in on Wednesday or there'll be detention."

The bell rang, and the school day ended. Arthur let out a sigh of relief. Now he just had to sit through band.

"See ya," Gilbert grinned at Arthur, ruffling his hair.

Arthur frowned, flattening it, "piss off. See you tomorrow," he smiled slightly with a little wave as Gilbert ran out of the class to find Kiku and 'the others'. Arthur hung back waiting for Michelle.

"Right, to band we go, Artie. You sure you're not coming, Ludwig?" Michelle asked Ludwig as he walked past. Ludwig ignored her. "Lovely."

The two walked over to the music block, Arthur picking up his flute, and Michelle her clarinet. On their way down to the hall, where they always had their band practice with Mr Fisher, Arthur heard a familiar voice calling him.

"Slow down will you, you two?" Mei said, catching her breath as she stopped running when she finally caught up with them. "No Ludwig, then?"

Michelle raised an eyebrow, "Apparently Mr Honour Student can't take time out of his busy schedule to come to something as pointless as band. Good riddance to him, I say."  
"Aren't you guys meant to like him?" Mei raised an eyebrow, laughing a little.

"Hm. Makes you wonder why he wants to hang around with us; it's not like he likes us anyway. I wouldn't say I dislike him but Jesus Christ he is fucking arrogant at times... just because he skipped a year..." Michelle said with a frown.

"Calm it Shell, it's not like we can do a lot with him being with us. Plus I hope we don't all get into an argument or something because it'd be awkward every time I go round to Gilbert's house," Arthur muttered.

Mei and Michelle exchanged a glance, giggling a little.

"What. Why're you looking like that? Why're you giggling?" Arthur demanded, eyes growing wide, realising he'd probably missed something.

"You and Gilbert are totally fucking," Mei deadpanned.

Arthur spluttered, nearly tripping over his own feet.

"Fuck off! One, I demand proof! Two, that's gross he's my best friend! Three, I keep on telling you this; I'm not fucking gay. And four, just no!"

The girls giggled, "Incredibly defensive there, aren't we?" Mei said shooting him an annoyingly confident grin.

Arthur looked about ready to be released into a room full of pillows that he would proceed to rip apart in his anger and embarrassment.

"We're only teasing, Artie!" Mei said with a giggle, slinging her arm around Arthur. "Chill. Oh! You coming to karate on Friday?"

"I told you last Friday I was," Arthur frowned, looking away in annoyance.

"Great! I heard Yao wants us to work on our sweeps. So prepare to feel the cold ground if you're paired up with me!"

Arthur was dreading Friday even more now.

 

"So this year, guys, I want to concentrate on doing more well known songs, yeah? Last year we were great doing all the Mozart and stuff, you sounded great! But I think some of you, especially the younger ones, found it a bit boring, right? So I've gone out and bought a load of movie theme arrangements, some of everything; we've got Harry Potter in here, we've got Raider's March, the Great Escape, hell we've even got some Les Miserable! It'll be great fun. We may be running thin on a few people... but hey, we can be an ensemble rather than a band. Right to get us warmed up let's try a bit of that Lionel Richie we played just before the summer..."

Everyone groaned, reaching down to rummage in their folders for the dreaded slow and boring Lionel Richie song they all hated with a passion, apart from their conductor, Mr Fisher, who when followed around school could often be heard humming the dreaded song.

In between songs, as usual, Mei and Arthur would have short conversations about nothing in particular. Now and then the two flautists would mouth messages to Michelle, who sat across from them on her own in the clarinet section. There could never be a particularly brilliant conversation because there was never more than two minutes in between their songs. Now and then they did pull each other's hair, or knock their flute away from their mouth while playing, and then cackle about it later.

"Oh Alfred was funny in science today whenever he tripped over Toni's chair and dropped his textbook right on to Matthew's head. You know I reckon only a guy like him could recover from that and make it funny," Mei laughed, shaking her head.

"Hmm... You do? I reckon quite a few people could pull it off..." Arthur muttered.

"Oh? Who?"

Arthur frowned, suddenly unable to think of anyone remotely witty. "Erm... I guess Gil could give it a go... Wouldn't surprise me if Mathias could make something like that comedic too. Though he'd probably be a bit of a dick about it afterward."

Mei grinned, "oh Arthur you're so cold at times. Wouldn't hurt for you to give a bit of loving! I tell you the day Arthur Kirkland bucks up and confesses to someone is gunna be the day that iceberg in your heart melts and turns into a lovely hot bath."

"What the actual fuck are you even talking about, Mei?"

"I dunno I was half way through the sentence and I sort of went with it, okay?" Mei said, "but hey seeing as we're on the subject, you like anyone?"

"No not particularly, you?"

"Nah, no one here quite fits my taste. Hey I'll tell you someone who does have a crush on someone!"

Arthur tried to look interested. He knew Mei was just dying to tell everyone her gossip.

"Well. I don't know how true it is... and I don't actually know who this person likes. But apparently Alfred likes someone! But I heard they're no one anyone would suspect or something and he doesn't really want people to know."

Arthur frowned, "hmm... Well if I ever find anything out on the matter I'll be sure to tell you. You do seem awfully interested Mei... Sure Mr Jones is not up to your taste?" Arthur managed to keep his cool, but the part of him which had been raving about fantasies of Alfred before had just emerged from its sleep from this new fuel for its raging and frankly embarrassingly desperate fires of fantasy.

"I totally don't like him. He's sweet but just not enough, y'know?"

Mr Fisher then announced that Stevie Wonder was to be played next. Oh joy.

The rest of band was just the usual combination of cracking jokes and pulling gags on each other, but doing so in a manner that didn't draw unwanted negative attention from Mr Fisher. Their new songs were a mix of badly played Katy Perry, Adele, the usual 'old' pieces that no one liked (by old that counted for both classical composers, and then singers such as good old Mr Stevie Wonder), some odd remixed version of Ode to Joy which they overplayed, a piece Mr Fisher himself had composed, incidentally the band's favourite piece to play and then a sprinkling of famous movie themes here and there. That is what made up St Katmore's 'wonderful' band. That and eleven amateur wind instrumentalists.

What did make Arthur feel a twinge of guilt that even in their very small numbers, no one had even mentioned Ludwig's absence.

The twinge was soon replaced with more freakishly vivid fabricated confessions from Alfred. Arthur wished he could just shake them out of his mind. They weren't leaving that easily though.

 

Arthur got home finally, sighing with relief as he unlocked the door stepping inside.

"I'm back!" Arthur called.

But before he even had time to take his shoes off, someone came racing around the living room and out into the hall, squirting Arthur square in the face with a squirt of ice cold water. Arthur made a little grunt of shock, wiping the water from his eyes, already knowing who he would see when he opened them again.

Sure enough his devilish younger cousin, Alastair Kirkland was grinning up at him, water pistol in hand. "Welcome home Artie!"

Arthur snarled at the boy, "it's Arthur you twat; also what the fuck are you playing at with a fucking water pistol and squirting me!?"

"I don't like you so I squirted you." Alastair shrugged as if it were common knowledge.

Owain, Arthur's older brother, then came out of the back room door, "Alastair there you are, what're you doing?" Owain looked up and then saw Arthur's soaking wet face. "Ah."  
"Yes it is fucking 'ah'."

"Don't use language like that in front of Alastair, Artie! He's only twelve!" Owain protested.

"I can guarantee he hears worse in that school of his and probably uses worse."

"I do not," Alastair said, a smirk on his face. He always acted so sickeningly sweetly around Owain.

Arthur growled, "so would one of you care to explain why you're both carrying around water pistols and soaking innocent onlookers."

"Um... Alastair wanted a water fight." Owain explained pathetically.

Arthur started at his brother like he'd gone mad, "It's _September?_ It's just over ten degrees outside? You can't have a water fight inside?"

"Um... Yeah I know."

"What!?" Arthur seriously couldn't understand Owain's reasoning.

"I kinda figured we'd keep it to the kitchen. Then Al ran off... and yeah that happened. Sorry about that, Artie," Owain said, still sounding more than a little pathetic.

Arthur rolled his eyes, "Whatever. I'm going upstairs."

Arthur stormed up the stairs, now in a very bad mood. He dried his face off on a towel as he passed the bathroom, and then sat on his usual comfy chair at his computer in his bedroom and began to procrastinate on the internet for probably what would be a good part of his evening. He'd probably go downstairs a little later to play some piano if he felt like it.

Ahh Arthur could happily kill his cousin right now.

 

Bella was lying on her bed, just watching a reply of the charts when he phone began buzzing violently. She checked the caller ID and grinned, picking up.

"Two calls in two days, Francis?"

"Hello to you too, Bella. I just wanted someone to talk to, y'know."

Bella frowned into her phone, "you feel shitty about the breakup don't you?"

"Yeah... I know it was for the best but I'm still lonely. I figured a chat with you would help take my mind off things?" Francis said, sounding like he'd just finished crying to himself.  
Bella wasn't quite sure what to say. Usually at this point she'd ask how he was doing, though that question had already been negatively answered. "You got some chocolate there? Make sure to make yourself comfy. Blast music."

"Check, check and check. I look like a wreck."

"Well at least no one's there to see you?"

There was silence for a moment. Bella knew she'd better do something about it.

"So Francis! You and Artie looked like you were having a pretty serious conversation in science, what were you talking about?"

"Just the breakup and stuff. Then I tried to get a bit more out of him about him and Gilbert... He still doesn't know you know about that so don't mention it."

Bella winced a little. When she heard that Francis was keeping a secret about Arthur, she'd all but tortured him to death trying to get it out of him. Eventually he'd caved and told her, but Bella realised then that she probably shouldn't have pestered him to find out about a secret that could hurt Arthur so deeply if he knew it'd been blabbed.  
"What he say?"

"Insisted nothing had happened since the last time. He still feels guilty. I swear he's got something wrong with him, he'd feel guilty for at least an hour even if he stood on an ant. I can't help but feel sorry for him though. It's obvious that he's just experimenting a little. He just blew it up in his mind, felt like it was an entire relationship."

"Poor Artie..." Bella frowned. Already three people were feeling shitty about relationships.

"All he needs is a crush and he'll get over it," Francis sounded very sure of himself.

"Oh god no I don't want Arthur to have a crush again bless him. He's always so unhappy when he likes someone," Bella paused, "no that's not quite right. He's sometimes so happy about the smallest things, but then all of a sudden he's the saddest we've seen him. It's really depressing to watch..."

"Hey maybe this time his crush won't be unrequited..." Francis said. Both knew the chances of that were slim. Not that people didn't like Arthur, but he did have a great talent of liking people that would never view him in that way, either because they were too close to him, or just didn't know him at all.

"I guess Jones is an option..." Francis said after a moment of them both pondering in their silence.

"Alfred?"

"Mmm..."

"Really?"

"Well Arthur was expressing a bit of an interest in him... and we all know Alfred has at least one leg out of the closet..."

"You're joking, right? Arthur and Alfred? They're so... different, I could never see it working!" Bella really didn't get where Francis was coming from with his suggestion. She tried to picture Arthur and Alfred walking hand in hand, it just didn't work. Or, from her position it didn't.

"Well, at least he's coming to terms with his sexuality, he kept on denying it before now."

"He should take a leaf out of Liz's book, she literally doesn't give a shit," Bella laughed a little, remembering the very casual coming out explanation Elizabeta had provided.

"What about you Francis?"

"Hm?"

"Well everyone seems to be coming out. You got anything to flounce?"

Francis smirked, "just because I'm slightly... feminine in certain interests and mannerisms doesn't mean I am attracted to men, Bel."

"Oh come on cut the crap, do you like guys?"

Francis paused, "if I'm honest I really don't know."

"I knew it."

"What? No I didn't admit to anything there. I'm just one big question mark at the minute. I guess, if I fall for a guy, I'm okay with that? I really don't know. If I'm honest I can't be bothered sorting through all the names and labels and working out which one I am."

"Hm... nice attitude I guess..."

"What about you?"

"Me? Hm... Now you've said that I actually kinda agree. I'm jumping on your bandwagon and saying that."

Francis smiled, "more people are like that than meets the eye."

There was silence again. Bella could sense that there was something Francis wanted to talk about, but couldn't bring himself to bring up in conversation; he would have hung up by now usually...

"Are you okay Francis?"

A pause. "No, not right now."

Bella sighed, "I wish I was there so I could hug you, you sound like you need a hug."

"A hug would be golden right now if I'm honest," Bella could tell Francis was smiling a little.

"The breakup getting to you?"

"Yeah... I feel a bit pathetic right now."

"No, Francis, don't feel pathetic, you did go out for a long while anyway. Or at least a while in comparison to most lengths of teenage relationships."

"Thanks, Bel, you make me feel a bit better at least."

"Is there anything else getting to you?" Bella could sense that this wasn't the end.

Francis paused, "well... Yeah..." he paused again, thinking how to phrase it. "Picture our friendship group is a sort of... vase. And someone dropped the vase. Luckily it didn't break, but cracks have been formed, and if it breaks again there's going to be more chance of the vase totally shattering. I feel like we're all on little parts of the shards, separated by these cracks."

"Mmm..." Bella mumbled in response, "what're you getting at?"

"I reckon there just needs to be one major argument and then it's gunna split, and we're going to take sides. Arthur will bugger off with Gilbert, probably still be a bit friendly with Shell. I reckon you and Shell will stick together, maybe Liz with you. As for me, well I'm not sticking around Ludwig on my own. I just don't really... know where I'll go..."  
"What Francis why're you saying all this?"

"Because it's like a storm is brewing... I dunno I feel massive tension levels between Liz and me... I don't know what I've done wrong..."

"You haven't done anything, Francis! It's all in your head, she isn't annoyed at you! Why would she be?" Bella hadn't even entertained the possibility it seemed so abstract. "We'll all be fine, Francis! We've got strong friends, and we all love each other, though it might be rough at times! Plus I think everyone's wise enough to realise that the last thing we need in a year like this is an argument. We'll at least hold out until the summer holidays!"

Francis frowned on his side of the phone, but he kept his tone pleasant, "I can't say I'm convinced, but I do hope you're right Bella... An argument would be really fucking inconvenient."

"Don't worry Francis, we'll stay strong friends," the smile was obvious in Bella's voice.

"Thanks Bel, you don't half make me feel better. Really thank you."

"Well, I think we'd best be getting some sleep. It's gunna be a hard year, and lack of sleep isn't going to help! Night Francis, sweet dreams!"

"Night Bel, thanks again."

"No probs, night!"

Bella hung up, smiling and yawning. She snuggled under her fluffy covers, surrounding herself in pillows. The thought of a big argument had never occurred to her before, but after Francis had sewn the seed in her mind it was becoming more and more apparent of how many tiny cracks had formed in their vase.


	2. A best friend will understand. Probably.

**Chapter Two: A best friend will understand. Probably.**

**(Warnings:**  'sexual activity' near the end of the chapter.)

It was now the last weekend in September, a month of school had zoomed past and they felt like the summer holidays were only last night. Shops had started to put out Halloween items already, even some Christmas items. Autumn had arrived, and the chill in the wind confirmed it.

School had been going well for Arthur and his friends, or better than they'd thought. Yes, there'd been a few 'moments', for instance when Francis had lightly tapped Arthur's head with his bottle of apple juice, which happened to have a screw on lid... that wasn't screwed on, soaking Arthur in sticky apple juice and sending him into a fit of rage for the rest of the day. Or the time Bella and Michelle had been particularly cruel and decided to convince Arthur and Gilbert to let them 'make them over', blindfolding the two boys, only to reveal that instead of making them over, they'd actually covered their whole faces in eye shadow, making Arthur completely purple, and Gilbert completely blue. The boys hadn't been the happiest bunnies in the world after that.

Francis was well on the way to recovering over the 'loss' of his ex girlfriend, though he did have his moments where he'd gaze off into the distance sighing. Most people were getting tired of his melodrama, however, and told him to just get over her. Francis always told them that it ' _wasn't that_ _simple!_ ' no one quite understood him. However, it had sparked what had seemed to be an unlikely friendship with Antonio, as the two of them were both recovering rejection, apparently from Feliciano Vargas, something that had surprised Francis and a number of others. The two bonded, spending certain lunch breaks together just sobbing about their broken hearts. Occasionally Gilbert joined them, much to Arthur's displeasure.

Lesson three on a Friday was PE with Miss Yates, loved by some, despised by others. Arthur didn't really have an opinion on her. He didn't really have an opinion on PE, really.

"Right class; gymnastics!" Miss Yates announced enthusiastically. "Not everyone's favourite, but it's good to give it a go! Now, I want you in pairs..." friends began to make eye contact from across the room, linking arms here and there. "Hm, no lets mix it up a little, boy-girl pairs, okay?"

There was a groan from the class. Arthur didn't mind too much, after all over half of his group of friends were girls.

"Shell you wanna pair with me?" Arthur said, poking Michelle's back.

"Hm... well Francis' is with Bella, Gil with Elizabeta, you know I think you're my only option. Well there's Ludwig but y'know, I'd rather not go with him, he'll take it way too seriously."

"Thanks, you make me feel so wanted in your presence."

"No problem at all, let's go grab a mat."

Soon, Arthur and Michelle were sitting on a tough mat, facing each other, neither wanting to move and actually do some gymnastics.

"Yep I'm really glad I didn't pair with Ludwig now, my back would've splintered..." Michelle said, frowning as she watched Ludwig boss about his pair a few mats away. Arthur winced a little as he watched the girl, whoever she was, he thought it might've been Katyusha, he couldn't see, try to force herself into a bridge position, but it just wasn't happening, something that Ludwig seemed incapable to grasp.

"Jesus Christ he doesn't half take things seriously..." Arthur muttered, though then realised he didn't really have the right to talk, what with his reputation of being 'Mr Serious Eyebrow Furrow-er'.

"What do you make of him?"

"Hm?"

"Him skipping a year. Do you reckon it's fair?"

Arthur frowned, remembering all the ruckus of last year. Ludwig was in fact a year younger than everyone in their year, still only thirteen and to turn fourteen in a few weeks. He'd done exceptionally well in year eight, giving him the chance to skip year nine totally, and join the year tens moving straight on to his GCSEs. Of course he'd accepted, this, however some students, parents and even teachers felt this was unfair, and had complained bitterly. It didn't really help matters that Mr Beilschmidt worked at the school, and had very recently been promoted to the position of deputy head teacher. Of course everyone protested, saying that it was biased, but, Mr Beilschmidt wouldn't stand for it, assuring the public that he had made the decision not as a parent and had fairly judged Ludwig with the help of many other teacher's help. People still wouldn't stand for it, so the matter was even taken to court. Ludwig had been given permission to skip a year, and he had taken the opportunity. Of course there was still a bitter taste in people's mouths, giving Ludwig and his father a bit of a bad reputation. Arthur could remember the whole of the student body practically splitting down the middle in conflict of opinion. Most people believed that Ludwig shouldn't be allowed to skip. Much to Arthur's surprise at the time, Gilbert, Ludwig's own  _brother_  didn't want Ludwig to skip the year.

 _Too much hassle, y'know?_  Gilbert had explained.  _He may as well just do it the way everyone else does it. He'll probably get better marks for it. And it'll keep Dad's reputation up._

Arthur had agreed with him once he'd put it like that.

"He's clever enough but I'm starting to wonder if it's even good for  _him?_  He's working incredibly hard, already he's revising, apparently..."

Michelle furrowed her brow, "What!? Revising? But there's nothing  _to_  revise! How'd you know that?"

"He told me the other day in separate science..." Arthur was actually quite impressed for remembering; he thought he'd be too wrapped up in daydreaming about Alfred to actually remember anything else that happened in the lesson, if he even noticed it in the first place.

"Jesus Christ... I bet you he's making it up."

"Hm? Why'd he do that?"

"You know, to make himself look better, like he's Model Student No. 0001. He's going to make sure he looks like the cleverest in the whole school; hell if he doesn't people will feel even worse about him. Imagine the chaos it would cause if, after all of last year's fuss, the 'model student' couldn't even pass his exams."

"Very good point..." Arthur hadn't even though about it, but now he heard it like this... it was all very true.

"It doesn't even stop at him being a know-it-all... competitive, regardless of others feelings, no pleasure in other people's success...  _cold_. He doesn't half get on my nerves..." Michelle muttered.

"I do know what you mean."

"You do? Thank God I thought I was the only one! Like, I'm sorry, but where did he get the idea that he could hang round with us...? He hadn't even  _spoken_  to us before September, well apart from band and such, but on the first day, he's just sitting there in the spare seat next to Bella like he has all the right! I mean, you'd at least kind of  _ask_ , like 'hey guys, I'm new in the year! Mind if I hang around with you, because I don't really know anyone."

"That'll be Gilbert's fault probably," Arthur chuckled a little, "Ludwig probably jumped to the conclusion that Gilbert's friends would automatically be his friends now, too."

"I tell you, I wish he hadn't made that conclusion. I wouldn't  _mind_  if he was just  _nicer!_  He didn't even say hello to me yesterday, just walked  _right_  past me. Then in English he came up to me and demanded to borrow my book from me to copy up the work he'd missed from that damn athletics competition he was at! Jesus it got my blood boiling." Michelle said through gritted teeth, looking quite wound up. "And he's homophobic too..."

Arthur felt like the bottom of his stomach had dropped a few feet, "shit is he?"

"Yup. As bad as they get. It's a good job he didn't find out about Gilbert and Alfred dating last year! Good God I feel bad for Gil having to hide all his relationships and stuff. What about the last guy he was dating? The shit boyfriend that you kept on moaning about in form."

Arthur snarled, "Nathan fucking Harrison. What a cunt."

"Yeah him. Weren't they dating in secret for like..."

"Six fucking months yes. Makes my blood boil thinking about the way the bastard treated Gil."

"But God, how didn't Ludwig and his dad work it out? For two really smart guys, it wasn't very... Sherlock Holmes of them."

"Probably too absorbed in their work..." Arthur grumbled, now incredibly annoyed as memories of Nathan and Gilbert's hellish relationship flooded his brain.

"Arthur you're growling."

"Fuck it, I want to punch someone."

"Try Ludwig."

"Hm. If he pulls any shit against Gilbert if he finds out he's fooled about with guys then I definitely will." Arthur said lowly, eyebrows pointed, fists clenched.

Michelle backed away a little, "Jesus, I forget at times you know karate. I guess it'll come in handy."

"No I'd never start a fight like that, it goes against everything Yao's taught us. Sadly. I would have loved to sock Nathan one. I would happily defend myself and counter attack if Nathan started the fight though. Or Ludwig."

Michelle laughed a little.

"Now, you two, as much as I love to see pairs getting on rather than arguing, I would like some gymnastics to be done, please," Miss Yates walked over, looking down at Arthur and Michelle with a frown on her face. "Get to it kids."

Cumbrously Arthur clamoured to his feet, offering a hand for Michelle once he was up.

"How gentlemanly of you Arthur," Miss Yates grinned, the younger, more playful side of her starting to show, "you two dating yet?"

"Like I'd date him," Michelle answered before Arthur could make an equally sarcastic and/or insulting comment.

Miss Yates laughed, "you kids... Well at least you're not biting each other's neck's off. Neither are you gymnastic-ing. Go. We've got thirty minutes left."

The pair sighed as their teacher walked away, realising that this was the end of their wonderfully peaceful slacking-off-while-bitching session.

School ended on quite a pleasant note, everyone pleased that they hadn't been given science homework. On the way out of the classroom, Arthur saw Gilbert emerging from his class just down the hall.

"See ya, Kiku! Don't forget about Sunday, okay?"

"I'm sure I won't, Gilbert-kun."

"Seriously, drop the homoglypy-thingies."

"Honorifics?"

"Yes, yes them."

"I'll do my best," Kiku smiled slightly, "I'll see you on Sunday, Gilbert-" Kiku looked about ready to add a 'kun', but stopped himself. Gilbert grinned, ruffled Kiku's hair, spun on his heel with a wave and walked away, noticing Arthur standing waiting for him.

"Artie! How was science, man?"

"Alright yeah, nothing special. Though we don't have any homework, so that's a positive light for the end of the week." Arthur matched Gilbert's goofy grin, realising that he'd missed him slightly, despite only having one lesson apart. Arthur then shuddered, feeling a little nauseated by himself and how clingy and just...  _needy_  he sounded.

"We still headed to yours then?"

"Yep, if you're still good with staying the night? Karate's candled so it's not like I've got anything better to do."

"Why wouldn't I want to be up close and personal while sharing a bed for ten hours or so with my awesomest buddy?" Gilbert said, a little too loudly for Arthur's comfort, made clear in Arthur's elbow jabbing and flustered 'shush!'-es.

"I'm only joking with you, Artie," Gilbert said, laughing a little. Arthur frowned, pushing him out of the school gate.

"We need to wait for Mei and Lien," Arthur said, and then frowned, "her first name is Lien, right?"

"Yeah I think it is, but everyone always called her Lien Chung just because no one's quite sure! I'd ask but, y'know kinda... odd asking."

"Mm I agree. Oh, there they are."

Mei spotted Arthur and Gilbert waiting for them by the gate and ran over, dragging Lien behind her. "Hiya you two! Thanks for waiting for us."

"No problem, it's not like it's any different from usual," Arthur said with a slight smile, nodding at the two girls as they met them on the other side of the gate and they began walking down the road.

"I suppose," Mei laughed, and then asked in a playful tone, "so how was school?"

"Was alright," Arthur repeated the quick description he'd given Gilbert, just elongating it a little.

"And you and Gil are going back to yours I guess?" Mei looked all to happy with this situation.

"Yes he is. He wanted to show me a movie." Gilbert said with an air of authority.

"Oh what movie?" Mei asked, looking up to Gilbert now.

Gilbert grinned, "Studio Ghibli - I haven't decided which one to watch though. Kiku got me to watch 'Grave of Fireflies' the other week, I cried like a baby. Since then it's taken me five days to watch all of their movies. Oh god they're so good."

"Studio Ghibli! They're  _adorable!_  Me and Lien watched 'From up on Poppy Hill' when it came out, it was  _amazing._  The stories are so sweet and simple, aren't they? But the ends are always so frustrating!"

"Tell me about it. 'Arriettie's ending though."

"I nearly threw something at my laptop."

Arthur looked at the two of them, "I seriously have no idea what you're on about."

"Soon you will my friend, soon!" Mei said, "you will be enlightened by the Ghibli. I reckon you watch Howl's Moving Castle first. Always a classic. And Artie'll like it because it was based on a British book, wasn't it?"

Gilbert's eyes widened, "it was? Wow. Actually now I think about it... yeah it kinda figures..."

"A Welsh author," Lien mumbled.

Arthur raised an eyebrow curiously, "Owain'll be proud."

"Oh yeah Owain's your brother isn't he? How's he doing?" Mei smiled, "he always used to be so nice to me in the mornings while I waited outside the house for you to get ready. He'd welcome me in and make me tea. I haven't seen him since he started collage..."

"He's doing good," Arthur said, "He and Alastair are closer than ever before."

Gilbert chuckled, "Al's the man."

"Alastair is a mouse trying to be a man, and is very annoying while doing it," Arthur replied, not sounding very amused.

The group stopped walking as they'd just reached Arthur's house. Arthur and Gilbert waved goodbye to Mei and Lien, Mei pulled Arthur into an incredibly tight hug, laughing at his grunts of annoyance and weak attempts to escape.

Arthur gave one final wave to the girls before he and Gilbert made their way up Arthur's steep driveway, and Arthur unlocked the door.

"I'm back! Gil's here."

"Welcome back you two! Hiya Gilbert!" Owain called, walking through to the hall from the kitchen, wearing their mother's apron. "Me and Al were making the lasagne for later. Mum and dad are home late. I assume you'll be eating, Gil?"

"Yep, if that's no problem," Gilbert said.

Alastair poked his head curiously through the kitchen door, eyeing Arthur and Gilbert suspiciously. Owain smiled at him, "I'll be with you in a minute or two, 'kay?"

Alastair nodded, still not saying anything, and went through to the kitchen again.

"So how was school?" Owain asked as the pair kicked off their shoes.

"Nothing special, but yeah it was okay," Arthur answered absent-mindedly, grabbing Gilbert's bag and hanging it up along with his own on the banister and followed Owain through to the kitchen.

"Good, good, Arthur be a gem and put the kettle on will you? Al c'mere and grab a biscuit or two," Owain smiled pleasantly, pulling out a chair and offering Gilbert to take a seat. Alastair sat down next to him, still saying nothing. "How's life for you, Gilbert?"

"It's good yeah, nothing too stressful yet, but I have a feeling that'll be changing when the summer comes."

"I'm sure you'll cope, I did, I even got half decent marks. All that matters is you get the grades you need to get into college, who cares if you don't get all A*s?" Owain smiled, handing three mugs to Arthur, who was filling the kettle with water.

"My dad," Gilbert sighed, "it kinda sucks when you have a little brother who skips a year, a dad that works in education and you don't even know if you'll pass your exams."

"Gil, you're clever," Arthur butted in, "you're just lacking in motivation. If you  _want_  to do well, you'll be able to. You just need to revise, and I said I'd even give you a hand with that. That way there's no way you'll fail."

"Don't go all big headed and patronising on me now Artie," Gilbert said, but grinned a little as Arthur handed him his tea. "But thanks for offering anyway."

"No problem. Upstairs?" Arthur asked, pointing to the ceiling. Gilbert nodded, getting to his feet.

"Have fun you two," Owain said, "out of interest what're you doing?"

"Watching 'Howl's Moving Castle'," Gilbert said.

Owain's face brightened, "I  _love_  that movie! Do you remember me showing you when you were little, Arthur? Me and Alastair watched it quite recently, didn't we Al?"

Alastair nodded wordlessly, not meeting anyone's gaze. Arthur frowned, his brother always seemed to go quiet when Gilbert was in the room.

"Quiet, aren't you Alastair? I remember you having quite a mouth on you," Gilbert laughed.

"I can talk, I just don't  _want_  to," Alastair answered sourly, "you have weird hair."

Gilbert choked out a laugh, "why thank you, I'm reminded how awesome it is quite regularly. Every time I look in the mirror in fact."

"I said weird, not awesome. Are you deaf?"

" _Al!_ " Owain's eyebrows practically became one brilliant monobrow, "come on, be nice Al!"

"Don't worry about it, Owain," Gilbert chuckled, "I was the same when I was a kid."

"I'm not a kid!"

"You still  _are_  the same," Arthur rolled his eyes at Gilbert, patting his shoulder, "let's go."

"Have fun with the movie you two! I'll call you for lasagne when it's ready," Owain called as they ran up the stairs.

"Oh you're a funny one Al," Owain smiled at his younger cousin, ruffling his hair. Alastair only let Owain do that. If anyone else did it, they would often find Alastair's teeth calming down on their fingers. "Well, let's get to this lasagne then."

"Can I put glass in Arthur's portion?"

" _No!_ "

Five hours, a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, a plate of lasagne each and three Studio Ghibli films later, Arthur and Gilbert sat in front of the laptop, the credits of 'Spirited Away' rolling down the screen.

Arthur blinked wordlessly while he exited full screen mode, closing the tab.

Gilbert waited for Arthur to say something, a knowing grin on his face.

"That was..." Arthur whispered.

"I know."

"I... I...  _that was so good._ "

"I know. They're all like that."

"How many are there?"

"Hm... I'd say twenty, give or take."

" _I have to watch them all."_

Gilbert laughed, "I  _knew_  you'd like it! There's simply no way you wouldn't. They're so cute aren't they?"

Arthur just made a whining sound from his throat. He got up, taking the empty tub of ice cream and the clean plates in one hand, and disappeared down the stairs, presumably to put them in the dishwasher. Gilbert laughed a little, yawning and checking the time, his eyes widening when he saw it was ten o'clock already.

Arthur returned, two cups of tea in his hand. He handed one to Gilbert, and sat down, sipping his thoughtfully.

"I don't know which one I liked most," Arthur frowned into his mug.

"I know the pain, man. Personally my all time favourite is 'Spirited Away'."

"Like, 'Poppy Hill' is so...  _precious_. 'Spirited Away' is just lovely... But Howl...  _They're just so perfect Gilbert what is this!?"_

Gilbert pulled Arthur into a supporting hug, "I know friend, I know."

The two sat there, talking about the movies, and talking about future movies that they needed to watch. In the end the conversation topic had gone through a massive journey and somehow, two hours later they were discussing Celtic Gods and Goddesses.

"Jesus," Arthur said, glancing at his watch, "it's nearly midnight."

"God I had no idea, I thought we'd only been talking like, half an hour."

"Apparently not..." Arthur said, taking his school blazer off, draping it over a chair. Gilbert mirrored his action. Arthur loosened his already very loose tie and threw it over with his blazer, and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Do you want me to like, get changed in the bathroom or something?" Gilbert offered, knowing that Arthur would probably question him if he began stripping too.

"I don't really care, do what you like," Arthur said to Gilbert's surprise, his shirt now off and also on his little pile of uniform clothes as he took off his trousers. Gilbert shrugged, copying him.

Arthur then grabbed his pyjamas from under his pillow, slipping them on. Gilbert laughed a little. Every time they had a sleepover, Gilbert took the piss out of Arthur for his granddad pyjamas', to which Arthur just poked out his tongue. He knew he was probably the only male fourteen year old who still wore pyjamas but he didn't  _care_. He liked them , they kept him warm.

"You're not going to be uncomfortable me sleeping half naked are you, Gramps?" Gilbert said, a malicious glint in his eye.

Arthur didn't bite, "go ahead and sleep naked for all I care."

The two paused, Arthur cursing at himself, just realising what he said.

Gilbert began giggling evilly, coming up behind Arthur wrapping one arm around his small shoulders, and the other on his thin waist, "oh you'd like that wouldn't you Artie?"

"Piss off I just retorted quickly without thinking what I was saying; we both know I did. Don't flatter yourself." Gilbert could tell Arthur was blushing without even craning his neck to see his face.

"Bless you, you awkward, frigid little thing." Gilbert chuckled, "you know friends with benefits  _do_  exist."

Arthur gritted his teeth, "yes I do know that and I also know that we're both fourteen."

"The prime age to do a little experimenting..."

"We've already  _done_  some experimenting you twat and I feel like a right prick for doing it, and you know that! Don't tempt me into doing something you know I'll hate myself for."

"Oh so I'm tempting you?"

"No!" Arthur growled.

Gilbert laughed, "I'm only winding you up Artie. Oh god you're so easy to aggravate!"

This only added to Arthur's frustration, "you little  _twat._  Why are you even my best friend? You'd think I'd choose someone nicer. Like Kiku. He wouldn't wind me up like this. Or Francis."

"Oooo, I've obviously crossed a line today! Worse than Francey Pants am I?"

Arthur heisted, "we both know there's no way you're as bad as him."

Gilbert grinned, "so you were lying to me~ I reckon I should get you back for that lie."

"Oh go on, tell me, what're you going to do as 'punishment'?" Arthur ignored how dirty that sounded.

Gilbert didn't. "Ooh, you're in the mood, Artie? Sub and Dom play, you kinky bastard."

"Oh fuck off will you?"

"Nah, I think I'll punish you with..." Gilbert paused for 'dramatic effect', "tickling!"

Gilbert squeezed Arthur's waist with the hand that was already there, pulling the other one that was draped on his shoulder to tickle the other side of Arthur's side, making the boy squirm beneath him, taking in deep breaths, only to let them out as giggles, swearing or half hearted threats. Gilbert grinned at his power, refusing to give mercy as he guided Arthur very slowly over to the bed while tickling him, throwing him onto the mattress, still not stopping tickling him until Arthur began thrashing his legs about, nearly taking Gilbert's head off.

"You complete dickhead." Arthur said one he'd caught his breath, snuggling under the covers as if trying to protect himself against further tickles.

"Why thank you." Gilbert was all too pleased with himself as he knocked the main light off with his knuckles, turning Arthur's little lamp on as he passed, climbing over Arthur to the other side of the bed, also climbing into the covers.

"I hate you so much."

"I know," Gilbert's grin didn't shift off his face.

"I could literally throw you out of this window right now if I knew it wouldn't kill you."

"Aw, so you do still love me."

"You know a lot of people say love and hate are closer than you would think."

"Who said that?"

Arthur paused, "I don't know I made it up."

"I know you did."

"Bastard, why did you ask then?"

"To make you admit you made it up."

"I hate you."

The two stayed silent for a little while, Gilbert grinning to himself while looking at the ceiling, and Arthur half-seriously sulking at the sudden tickle attack.

"You know..." Arthur said after a little while, "all that stuff between us... that's over... right?"

"Yeah, dude, you know I was kidding around with all that stuff I said before," Gilbert said worriedly, his cool act loosening a bit; yeah he liked to tease Arthur, but he didn't want to hurt and confuse him.

Arthur nodded, "yeah I know... out of interest... what if I'd... um... when you said about friends with benefits... what would you do if I... agreed to doing it... if you weren't suggesting it seriously."

"I'd probably go along with it," Gilbert answered honestly without much thought.

"You would?"

"Well yeah... I do want to do some experimenting with people, y'know? Like that was why I liked my relationship with Nathan, a dick though he was. It let me do stuff to guys I've always wanted to do, and get stuff done to me. I would totally be okay experimenting with a friend and forgetting about it afterward, but all the gay or bi-curious friends I have are just too... too... Well. It's you, Kiku, and Matthew, and let's be honest, you're probably the three least likely guys to go and have a fling with someone that means nothing. You're all too..."

"Frigid?"

"Na, more... innocent? Romanticists?"

"Oh, for once a compliment."

"Hey I'm not  _that_  bad, you're worse than me like that! But yeah, if I knew you weren't going to feel like you wanted to rip your own eyebrows out with guilt after it I probably would've made a move already, y'know?" Gilbert said casually.

"So you could just... have a fling with a guy... even your best friend and just... forget about it?" Arthur couldn't even imagine how that was possible.

"Yeah, I reckon so. Perhaps not if we went  _all_  the way, even me and Nathan didn't do  _that_  but yeah, foreplay and stuff. As long as both were clear it was no strings attached."

"How far  _did_  you and Nathan go?"

"I told you all this before as it happened, dude."

Arthur already knew that. He'd know that when he asked. Why did he even  _ask_  it? He guessed because a part of him was quite enjoying the conversation and the direction it was headed and didn't want to flick away from it.

"So... you're like definitely gay then? Not bi-curious or just bisexual?"

Gilbert frowned, "gay seems to fit right now... I'm not seeing girls as attractive, but a guy'll walk past and I'd be like yes I'll bang  _you_  thank you very much!" Gilbert smiled. Arthur laughed a little at his casual attitude. "What about you?"

"Me?" Arthur frowned, "well I'm definitely into guys. Right now I have no idea about girls... I don't really want to label it, especially at this age. I'm just going to like whoever the fuck I like and not question it."

"I like that approach..." Gilbert said with a nod, "it's very...  _you_."

"You gunna come out any time soon?" Arthur said, still on his side so he didn't see Gilbert's expression change from calm and happy to a sudden flash of anger and upset.

"Well you know, a homophobic father and little brother... I  _want_ to, but I don't know if it's for the best... Like I could wait until collage, or university... or until I get like an actual boyfriend, and like one that actually respects me, unlike Nathan. But it's just so frustrating, you know? Sitting there at the dinner table while they eat and knowing that if I just blurted five letters - 'I'm gay' - they wouldn't want me there... Part of me just wants to scream it at them, part of me just wants to hide in my room and look at gay porn. I have to say that I'm listening to the second part of me more."

Arthur chuckled, "well you know... I do like your dad. I think... I think he's one of those parents who is homophobic, and raised his kids like he was brought up; though I guess something went wrong with you. But he's not a  _bad_  person. Like, he's not racist, or doesn't accept certain religions. I think if you did come out, it would take him a while, but he'd definitely come around."

"Ludwig might not..." Gilbert said glumly.

Arthur just managed to stop himself from blurting out 'well fuck Ludwig'. He was so glad he stopped himself. Yeah, Gilbert and Ludwig weren't on the best of terms at the minute, but Gilbert cared about his little brother, and wanted to be a big brother Ludwig could look up to and idolise, rather than look down upon and roll his eyes at like he was now.

"What about you? Do you plan on coming out?" Gilbert asked.

"I've been thinking about coming out to the guys at school. Francis already knows, but the others don't. I want them to know. And Mei, too, though I'm not sure if I should tell her yet. I don't particularly want to tell Ludwig though. Though part of me just doesn't want to come out because they'll all think 'oh I  _knew_  it!' like, they all assume I'm gay because of the way I act, because I'm so... well... frigid? And not  _camp_ , but like... I can admit I'm effeminate at times."

"Well yeah, you do fuckin' embroidery."

"Part of me just doesn't  _want_  to make them know they were right, I don't want to satisfy that though, if you get me? I want them to feel their assumptions about me were wrong. The idea of them sitting there thinking 'I knew it all along!' it kinda makes me... kinda angry. Like they think they know me better than I know me? I know they don't mean it like that, but I can't help but feel annoyed at the whole thing, which is the only think keeping me back. They'll all accept me for it, like..."

"Hmm... yeah I do know what you mean," Gilbert nodded, "I'm just not experiencing it."

"You've got it worse than me..." Arthur muttered, feeling bad for Gilbert. "So is there anyone you've got your eye on?"

Gilbert paused to think.

"I'm not sure... but I think I've got a bit of a crush on Kiku."

Arthur smiled into the covers a little, he'd seen it coming a mile off.

"I mean he's so  _cute_ , man. Like he'll say something that could be considered 'rude' or whatever, and then he'll realise what he said and blab and try to apologise and explain himself and just an endless babble of words and manners and it's like Kiku; I don't mind,  _I'm not offended_. And he sits there like oh you're not? And you're like no dude it's fine. I just wanna hug him and just feed him and ugh he's really cute." Gilbert gushed, barely taking a breath.

"You've totally got a crush on him."

"You think I do?" Gilbert sighed, dropping a smaller pillow on to his head in annoyance, "damn it. The worst is when you have a crush on your possibly-straight-other-best-friend. Oh god what if I do something stupid and ruin our friendship by trying to be all sexy and things."

"I wouldn't say it's impossible for you to do something stupid; it's very likely. But if I'm honest, like you remember the time you were all 'oh Arthur I have feelings for you~' when our 'stuff' first started? And then I kinda mucked things up and guilt and shit, and we didn't talk for was it... a week or two? But hey we're sitting in the same bed right now. I reckon something similar will happen with Kiku. But maybe you'll be kissing while you're sitting in the bed. Or trying to kiss and Kiku is being awkward and adorable about it."

Gilbert let out a choked laugh, "I can see that happening. But see... I think Mattie might like me..."

"Matthew? What makes you think that?"

"I dunno... do you ever just get the feeling someone's kinda... trying to flirt with you but kinda sucks at flirting?"

Arthur paused, frowning, "no, no one ever flirts with me."

Gilbert cackled again, "aw I'll flirt with you baby."

"No thank you. Continue you're story."

"Well yeah, he just seems to be talking to me a lot, and when we do talk he's usually trying to gear the conversation towards romance related stuff..." Gilbert sighed, "like he's cute and I like him, but not _like that_."

"I get you. I kinda feel like that about Mei and Shell. Like if I was as straight as a board I'd probably fancy them, but right now I just want to hang with them, and they're really nice and funny and sweet."

"Yeah, yeah like that!" Gilbert nodded, then paused and sighed. "Then there's  _Alfred_."

Ah. The conversation topic Arthur was doing his best to avoid. Without any chance to even reply, Gilbert had already launched into a rant.

"You're right he's changed  _so_  much! Like, he climbed the social ladder! And became a douche while he was climbing it! Like before he would blab about stupid animes and we would laugh and talk about manga freely. Now if you tried to talk to him about 'geeky' things he'd just kinda walk away like 'dude we don't talk about geek stuff in  _school_  are you trying to ruin my reputation seriously'. But like why did he become like that!? And he's got all the girls, it's sickening, have you seen how they flock around him like ducks around some guy walking through the park that just bought a loaf of bread. I don't  _want_  to like him; I know it's totally over between us, and it's like one hundred percent unrequited. But I just can't  _not_  like him. He's so fucking charming and his stupid fucking smile. Like I pass him in the corridor and he doesn't even see me, I'm just a grey face to him, like he erased me from his memory, it's really upsetting. I just want to be angry with him but I  _can't_  be angry with him, you know?"

Arthur listened carefully, sighing thoughtfully. He could empathise with everything Gilbert said, especially the stupid smile part. He had a very stupid smile. And by that he meant perfect, charming, adorable...

"Arthur?"

Shit don't daydream mid conversation, Arthur.

Arthur then did something he didn't do a lot of. He blurted out without planning ahead, he broke all his plans about Alfred and Gilbert, and risked it all in one sentence, not even thinking about the aftermath it might have until the sentence had left his mouth.

"Gilbert, I like Alfred."

Gilbert didn't say anything. Arthur finally turned over in his covers, looking at Gilbert. Incidentally Gilbert was a lot closer than he'd anticipated, so they accidentally ended up nearly nose-to-nose.

"I like Alfred. He's an idiot and he's adorable. I feel like I shouldn't like him; he's completely off-limits! He's my best friends ex! A kinda douche-y ex too. But he's so charming and clever and funny. One smile at me and I'm down for the rest of the day suffering cheesy, corny images in my head and a terrifyingly good mood. I hate what he does to me and I love it at the same time. The fact that he has spontaneous games of I-spy in the middle of separate science, and the fact that he wants to learn Latin, and that he is interested in physics and maths and wants to become a doctor; all of him just makes me so fucking  _angry_. I look at him and I just scream in my head ' _we'd be perfect together!_ '. We would! We like the same things, we are similar ages, we're both relatively clever, he watches fucking Doctor Who and Sherlock, hell our hair colour is nearly the same. It's all so  _right._ But at the same time it's just so taboo and annoying and off-limits and  _wrong._ He's  _your_  summer crush, he's the guy you've liked for nearly two fucking years now. He doesn't even  _know_ me, I mean literally nothing to him apart from a smile in the corridor. My friendship group and his friendship group have nothing at all to do with each other. He's a  _guy_. Okay, yeah he did date you but who knows if that was just a bi-curious thing? I don't know, he could be as straight as anyone for all I know... But the fact he is  _so_  off-limits just makes me want him  _more_  and it makes me so angry and confused and fucking  _happy_  and my emotions are just a wreck. Holy shit I didn't mean to blurt that out like that, shit."

Gilbert stared at Arthur, rusty red eyes wide, totally not expecting what Arthur had come out with. "I..." was all Gilbert could manage.

"It's only a crush! Don't worry I'm not sitting here trying to tell you I'm  _in love_  with him or something stupid and just wrong. I only came to terms with this the other day; so much of me just hates liking him just because I know it's so unfair to you."

"I..." Gilbert tried again. "That's... that's okay I guess..." His voice sound a little strained, but understanding.

"What?"

"You liking Alfred... it's okay. Obviously it's not an ideal situation for either of us... but you know it's not like you can just call dibs on someone. Now  _I_  feel conflicted. I feel hurt, but then annoyed at myself for being hurt. I know you didn't do this to hurt me of course, which is why I'm annoyed that I'm hurt. It's stupid that I'm hurt. I guess I'm more upset at the situation rather than you. If I'm honest, Artie... I'm kind of scared. Part of me is really jealous of you; you have a chance with Alfred. You have a class together, like you say, you'd fit... you'd fit really well. You're both clever and like the same things... Honestly I don't know how you're not friends... That's kinda what scares me; the selfish part of me. That you have a chance with him, if you did confess to him, there's a big chance he could say yes... and I... I don't know how I'd be able to deal with my best friend and my crush... no... my...  _love?_  getting together... It... it's kind of surreal. I feel selfish, but I'm just being honest with my feelings... So Artie I'll tell you this. Don't put me in front of you while you do this okay? Or I'll feel even more selfish. Okay I'd be kinda upset if you  _did_  get together but like, that's not your problem, I shouldn't get in the way of that. Plus there's Kiku and Mattie too..."

Arthur felt his brain going to mush. Why oh why did he bring this up. "Gil if I'm honest, I don't think anything's ever going to happen between me and Alfred. But I'm not going to go on about it to you and try to rub it in your face or constantly remind you that I like him, of course. Like you say, if I do confess I'll try not to let your feelings get in the way (oh god that sounds so heartless...) but, yes I'll do my best... we'll... we'll stick close through this. Right?"

"Right," Gilbert nodded.

There was silence for a while. There was so much left unsaid, but neither wanted to say it mainly because both of them drastically wanted to change topic. They really weren't in the mood for this. They would have to re-visit it at some other point.

Arthur laughed a little, "well let's face it, whatever happens, neither of us are going to be as bad as Nathan."

"True, very true."

"You kinda talk about Nathan sometimes like you miss him... you don't right?" Arthur was worried, his eyes flashing quickly from staring at the mattress to Gilbert's gaze, back down to the mattress again.

"I don't so much miss  _Nathan_... more the stuff I did with him. Like... that's kinda why I want to do the experimenting with people. I miss all the sexual pleasure I got from that hellish relationship. I wouldn't mind having it again, just without the crappy relationship part."

"So like..." Arthur cleared his throat, eyes darting about nervously, "what  _does_  a blow job feel like?"

Gilbert laughed a little, "they're given more credit than they're worth. Yeah they're great, but the way they're idolised it kinda doesn't meet expectations. But hell they do feel good. Kind of wet but pleasantly so. Like, like you're jerking off, but like warm and more, tight? And more unpredictable because it's not your hand doing it. It's definitely a different kind of experience yeah."

"What about like... um... you know..."

"Hm? What like, anal?"

"Yeah."

"Well, as you very well know, we never went that far. We came  _so_  close to doing it, he wanted to top me, I was kinda in a bit of a daze and didn't know what to say. He was about to stick it in and... I just burst into tears right there.  _So_  lame, but I'm glad I did. Wouldn't want to give that cunt my virginity. He probably has AIDs anyway so good job. But he did finger me once... I don't think he did it right, it was really uncomfortable."

"Not hitting the right... spot?"

"Yeah. It was really frustrating because I sort of  _knew_  where he needed to go, and it was a couple of centimetres away from being incredibly pleasurable. It just never happened. He seemed to enjoy it when I did it to him though."

Arthur nodded. "Well the furthest I've gone is a hand job, so you've beaten me."

"Dude, it was me that gave you the hand job."

Arthur frowned, "yes okay I know. And it was really fucking pleasant. Which is something I hate you for."

Gilbert cracked a grin, "I got experience man, I know how to jerk someone off and to get them completely at my mercy."

"Fuck you Beilschmidt, fuck you."

The two lay in silence for a while, their breathing echoing in their ears as if they were wearing gas masks. It even felt like blinking made a noise. Arthur could feel his cheeks were warm, his hands were clammy and his stomach, and lower regions, were feeling knotted and uncomfortable. He felt like his whole body was radiating heat, and was  _very_  pleased he had the covers to hide himself under.

"Fuck you and your fucking sexual advances."

"What am I making you horny?" Gilbert said, laughing, implying it was a joke.

Arthur didn't reply.

"Dude have I seriously given you a boner or something." Gilbert sounded way too pleased with himself.

Arthur still didn't reply.

"That is fucking  _gold_ , I am literally so awesome," Gilbert laughed, shaking his head. After a moment or two, he admitted under his breath, "um you're... you're not alone there."

"It's not  _you_  that's... turned me on... before you get a swelled head. It's the fact we're talking about sexual shit, while we're sharing a bed, you're naked, we've done stuff in the past, and it's all a bit 'forbidden'. It's just fucking... ugh."

"I think you're the only one that thinks stuff like this is 'forbidden'." Gilbert said, "but I do get what you mean. It got me a little heated too."

The two of them sat there, uncomfortable and slightly agitated that they couldn't relive themselves right there. Arthur was half entertaining the idea of saying he wanted to go to the bathroom, but he knew Gilbert would only tease him more.

Luckily Arthur didn't have to think about possible options for much longer.

"Look... I'm just going to ditch all my pride here. Do... D'ya want me to give you a hand job?"

Arthur frowned, looking as far away from Gilbert as he could.

"You don't have to give one back, I can do that myself; you're probably gunna be too nervous and shit to wanna do that anyway. Or if it makes it better we can lie here and just... masturbate side by side like awkward idiots. I really don't give a fuck, I'll go in the fucking bathroom if you want me to I just need to get rid of this fucking boner."

Arthur could feel his hands shaking a little. He wasn't  _scared_  as such, there was just so much adrenaline, and just the whole situation was just shocking and embarrassing him. He had  _no_  idea what on earth to say back to Gilbert's request.

"Oh you're doing the awkward thing where you can't even fathom thoughts into words. God I remember when you were trying to ask for me to hold your fucking hand you couldn't do it. Why would I even think you could respond to a question like  _this_?" Gilbert said, laughing weakly, "okay man, I've got a plan, just nod or shake your head, okay?"

Arthur paused and then nodded.

"That's the spirit. Okay, do you want to masturbate simultaneously?"

Arthur didn't move.

"In different rooms?"

Again he stayed still.

"Okay... so you want me to do something to you then?"

Arthur averted his eyes, and gave a very slight nod of his head.

Gilbert smirked, "hand job?"

Arthur clenched his fists, squeezing his eyes tightly shut and he let out a tiny nod of his head, barely even noticeable, it just looked like he was twitching slightly.

Gilbert grinned, deciding to push it a little further, " _blow_  job?"

Arthur shook his head furiously. As curious as he was, that felt like a line that he didn't want to cross, at least not today.

"Well then," Gilbert said, his tone now quieter, a little more serious, leaving the realms of mischievous and heading towards dominant... kind of  _sexy_. "You'd better get your cute old man pyjamas off. Or do you need me to do that too?"

Arthur kept his eyes clenched shut, flinching a little as Gilbert scooted closer to him, breathing on to his neck. "I'll take that as a yes" Gilbert whispered, nipping lightly at Arthur's ear. Arthur whimpered a little. He could feel Gilbert press his legs up, tangling them into Arthur's, their cold feet shuffling about in such a way neither quite knew whose foot was whose. He could also feel Gilbert's own erection pressing up against his lower back. It was incredibly distracting. Somehow it managed to be pleasurable, exciting and thrilling while being scary, wrong and guilt-provoking.

Gilbert curled himself around Arthur, both of them lying on their sides, Gilbert coiling his body around Arthur's back, nibbling at his neck and letting one arm cup Arthur's waist, while the other snaked up under Arthur's arm, enclosing him into an embrace from behind. He slid his fingers over to collar of Arthur pyjamas, undoing the top buttons slowly.

Arthur made another little whimper of a noise; in truth it only added to Gilbert number of reasons to have an erection. He was on his third button when he felt Arthur cup his own hand over Gilbert's, which was quite a surprise. The whole  _thing_  about Arthur was that he  _didn't_  want to be romantic, holding hands, kissing, saying 'I love you' in anything other than a friendly way, it was all things Arthur avoided like the plague, after all they were the things that made him feel most guilty. Or that is what Arthur had told Gilbert, and it did make sense, why else would Arthur clench his eyes shut, refusing to face Gilbert every time they did anything remotely sexual?

Arthur's hand then tensed up a little around Gilbert's, holding it now rather than just gently cupping it. Arthur slowly and shakily guided Gilbert's hand lower and lower, to the base of his stomach where all access to anything lower was completely blocked by Arthur's cramped up knees that he was hugging with his spare arm.

 _Oh_ , Gilbert thought to himself with a wry smirk, part of him knew there would be an explanation for Arthur's slight 'romantic' moment. He wanted Gilbert to hurry the hell up and get it over with so Arthur's guilt level would stay at a minimum. He didn't blame Arthur.

"Hey Artie if you actually want me to get on with this you're going to have to lose some of that adorable chastity and lower your legs," Gilbert said, and was  _so_  tempted to add some sort of sexual, submissive nickname at the end of it, like 'kitten' or 'pet'. It probably would of freaked Arthur out a bit, so he was glad he held his tongue.

After a moment, Arthur very slowly and hesitantly lowered his legs, giving Gilbert access to his erection. Gilbert smirked, whispering a 'thank you very much' into Arthur's ear and slipped one hand down the elasticised waist of Arthur's pyjamas, his other hand that was resting on Arthur's waist snaking around and mirroring the action. He then pulled down the fabric to about Arthur's mid-thighs, and from there Arthur shook his legs, letting them fall to his ankles. Gilbert then placed both hands on either side of Arthur's waist, cupping him gently.

"Am I doing it right?" Gilbert whispered, knowing full well he was by the ever-growing bulge in Arthur's underwear. Even so, Gilbert liked to have his fun. He didn't move until he got a little whimper from Arthur, and the boy nodded ever so slightly, to which Gilbert rewarded with a little nibble to the ear, making Arthur shiver.

Gilbert decided to have his last, and probably most rewarding moment of mischievous fun. "Hey Artie."

"What?"Arthur demanded, sounding agitated.

"Beg."

" _What."_

_"Beg."_

Arthur's breathing hitched, Gilbert could hear him swallowing nervously, his thighs tensing up. Gilbert kept his hands teasingly close to relief, letting the tips of his fingers just slip under Arthur's underwear, but no further. He _knew_  he had all the power, and that Arthur would eventually crack under pressure. He knew his best friend well. Arthur would cave any moment.

"I hate you," Arthur growled. Gilbert knew he'd won.

"I... Please... My... You..." Arthur began, getting his tongue in a twist. He stopped, taking a deep breath and tried again. "If I am one hundred percent fucking honest, this is the hardest I've been in... a fucking long time. I am nearly over the edge already and you haven't even touched me. Which... which is why I want you to touch me. I want you to be the one to send me over the edge. Just... Just fucking take mercy on your quivering coward of a best friend and cut him some slack would you? I'm here shaking with anticipation, worry,  _guilt_ , I'm so fucking turned on by your stupid words and the way you phrase things and I could get off to a picture of a dead cat right now. I just... I need some form of pleasure. You have the power here. I'm... what I'm trying to say is... just fucking... Please give me some pleasure, please let me get rid of this fucking erection, and... please... please be the one to do that to me. You can do whatever the fuck you want to me right now I don't fucking care. Just  _please_ , Gil, I... I need to fucking cum."

Gilbert blinked a few times. Okay, it wasn't strictly  _begging_ , but... somehow he hadn't expected Arthur to be so honest; he never realised Arthur would actually ever consider dropping his pride like that. But fuck it was hot. Still Gilbert pushed it a little.

"If you just added 'Master' to the end of that it would've been perfect," Gilbert came  _so_  close to adding 'babe' on the end, but held his tongue for his own sake this time, because calling Arthur 'babe' not only would earn him a slap, but would make him sound like some sort of corny hooker from a film made in the 1970s.

"You can fuck right off you cunt," Arthur snarled, gritting his teeth.

"Alright, alright you earned your pleasure," Gilbert nipped at Arthur's ear once more, laughing teasingly at how it made the boy whimper as his sharp canine teeth bit down a little harder than before.

Gilbert let his hand travel down Arthur's bony hips, and with one quick movement, Arthur's underwear had joined his pyjama bottoms round the bottom of his ankles. Arthur's breathing hitched, his eyes squeezing ever tighter. Gilbert's left hand inched up Arthur's top, playing with his chest and his stiff nipples, while the other hand was left to explore what the underwear had now revealed in it's absence.

Not beating around the bush any longer, Gilbert grabbed Arthur's throbbing cock quite tightly, and the gasp that escaped the Briton's open, dry mouth was most certainly worth wile. Gilbert stroked his hand down Arthur's cock once or twice, which was enough to get pre-cum oozing from the tip. Gilbert smirked a little when he felt the moistness, wiping it up with his middle finger and using it as a make shift lubricant, speaking it over Arthur's entire length. After it was sufficiently hot, sticky and slightly wet, Gilbert decided to get down to business. He ran his hand down from the base, right up to the tip, back down to the base again, making sure not to pause for too long on the tip. He proceeded to go faster, listening to Arthur's breathing increase, becoming more rugged, and then just as Arthur sounded like he was a little too close to the edge, Gilbert would slow up, going tantalisingly slow, barely even moving his hand, which earned more than a few grumbles of frustration from Arthur.

Finally after an awful lot of teasing Arthur, even Gilbert was beginning to feel frustrated with himself, so god only knew how pissed Arthur was at him. He paused at the base, tightening his grip once more. He brought his hands up to his own mouth, licking his fingers until they were dripping, while toying with Arthur nipple to keep him at bay. On the way down he was cheeky enough to poke his fingers close to Arthur's mouth, and to his surprise, he felt Arthur's mouth close around them. Arthur's tongue flicked around Gilbert's fingers, making sure they were all equally covered in saliva. Arthur practically gave Gilbert's fingers head, and for once it was Arthur's turn to grin with power as he felt Gilbert's erection twitch a little at the base of his back.

Gilbert took the 'lubricated' hand, grasping Arthur's erection once more. This time there was no holding back. Without warning, without even warming up, Gilbert thrusted his hand up and back down Arthur's cock as fast as he could move it. His grip on the dick only got tighter, which resulted in a corresponding grunt from Arthur. Gilbert then took his hand that was still teasing Arthur's firm little nipples and coiled it down his torso, bringing it to play with the tip of his dick while Gilbert's other hand worked furiously. He'd never seen it done before, and it'd never been done to him. But Gilbert risked it, and by Arthur's reaction he certainly enjoyed it, as with one groan, (which the two were very conscious of the volume of) his hips buckled, his whole body jerking into Gilbert, quivering slightly as he came into Gilbert's now slowly moving hand. Gilbert continued to stroke him for a while after, just to let him ride through the climax. Arthur sighed, pulling his knees up once more, pulling up his underwear and pyjamas, not speaking or looking at Gilbert, most likely in shame.

"Two minutes dude, you might be done but I'm not. Don't worry I can handle this myself," Gilbert said, not sure if Arthur was actually listening, but nevertheless he licked Arthur's cum off his fingers, there wasn't a lot of it, and quickly handled his erection in his usual masturbation method of quick and simple, hard and fast. Within three minutes, he climaxed, managing to keep his cum on his body and not soiling the sheets and giving Arthur an awkward run-in with the next person to do the laundry.

The two lay there in silence, catching their breath, not saying anything. Gilbert lay staring at the ceiling with an arm on his forehead and one on his stomach, feeling quite casual, and well, pretty awesome. Arthur had condensed himself into a tiny ball, only about two foot in diameter, if that.

"I'm sorry, I said I'd control myself," Arthur muttered. Oh god, here came the awkward self-explanation of guilt, shame and a dash of temporary self-loathing. "I said we weren't going to do it anymore and here I am. And I didn't even do it to  _you_  which I feel bad for. I'm getting all the fucking pleasure here, and it's not fair on you. Then I feel like shit after it and everyone just feels like crap."

"Dude speak for yourself I'm feeling great. And I did get pleasure, I pleasured myself. Don't be so self-centred!" Gilbert joked, "but seriously, I'm fine with doing stuff like this. I know you'll beat yourself up about it, but try not to. I wanted to as much as you did, don't go stealing all the responsibility."

Arthur nodded. Silence for a moment, "I'm sorry... Thank you."

"No problem I guess," Gilbert shrugged.

"I... I'm going to try to get some sleep..." Arthur said quietly.

"Sure thing Artie, no worries. At all, dude it's all fine. It's more than fine it's awesome."

"Thanks. Night."

"Night," Gilbert smiled, patting Arthur's head lightly.

There was silence.

Then shuffling. Arthur turned over in his little ball, so his back was no longer facing Gilbert. He shuffled up a little coming in closer to the German, still maintaining his tiny diameter. Gilbert looked down at Arthur with a smile at how sweet he looked, all worried and tired. He absent minded stroked Arthur's hair with one hand, which had a surprising effect; almost instantly, Arthur's breathing slowed, becoming lighter. Gilbert was pretty sure he could tell the exact moment the boy had fallen asleep.

With a final chuckle to himself, Gilbert decided that he too should get some sleep, with a final pat, he snuggled under the covers, getting comfy, but not too close to Arthur that he would freak out and think they got all lovey-dovey in the night.

What an idiot of a best friend, Gilbert thought fondly, though he'd finally get himself sorted out soon and realise that not everything sexual had to have a deep romantic meaning behind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aha, chapter two and we've got a hand job between two best friends! I hope it was... adequate enough.
> 
> Just as a side note, Owain is Wales and Alastair is Scotland. They appear in my other fics, with pretty much the same personalities, however I decided to make Alastair the annoying little cousin this time. And you'll find out why he's living with Arthur's family a little later.
> 
> Also, Gilbert's ex boyf mentioned, Nathan Harrison is shitty OC who is basically a ball of dicks. He will only be mentioned now and then, so no worries about irritating OCs.
> 
> Thank you for any feedback!


	3. Aren't we brave ones?

Chapter Three: Aren't we brave ones?

"Right Artie you're done here. So remember just keep up on the scales and theory. Alastair, if you want to set up, I'll be with you in a moment, I'm just going to make some tea for us all. Artie could you give me a hand, please?"

Arthur and Alastair were in their weekly piano lesson with their teacher, Wang Yao. Yao had been teaching Arthur for at least ten years now, and Alastair about two. Arthur loved his piano lessons, though wasn't fond of it when Yao's 'partner', the tank-sized Ivan Braginski, came home early from work. What Ivan worked as, Arthur had no idea, though he and Alastair were placing bets on 'master assassin'.

Smiling to himself, Arthur followed Yao through to the beautifully well kept, elegant kitchen. Wonderfully minimalistic in its furnishings, with just enough traditional Chinese colours of red and gold to make it look refined, but not too much to make it look gaudy. If there was one thing Arthur knew about Yao, it was that he was incredibly house proud, and that if he saw the state in the Kirkland's kitchen, he would probably demand to stay over for the weekend while he cleaned it.

Yao reached into the cupboard, taking down some cups as Arthur filled the kettle. He waited patiently for Yao to say something; it wasn't exactly a two person job to make tea, so Yao had obviously wanted a little privacy.

"Is everything okay, Artie?" Yao asked as they waited for the kettle to boil. Yao was one of the very few people outside Arthur's friendship group that dared use that damn nickname. Well, Arthur didn't mind too much when Yao used it.

"Yes, why?" Arthur said with a smile.

"You seem an awful lot quieter than usual. Alastair was sitting there making his usual passive-aggressive comments and it sounded like you didn't even hear him you were so deep in thought."

Arthur blinked, surprised. Alastair had been making passive-aggressive comments behind him?

Obviously the shock had shown on his face, as Yao laughed a little, "so I was right. What's bothering you?"

Arthur sighed, looking down at the floor and then back up at Yao. Of course he'd been right; there was something on Arthur's mind, and there had been for a few days now.

"Well yeah, there is something," Arthur admitted, not meeting Yao's gaze as he chose his words very carefully, "there's... something I really feel I need to tell my friends. It's... important to me, and I think it will be important to them as well. I'm just not one hundred percent sure if it's the right thing to tell them..."

Yao watched Arthur, a knowing look in his eyes. Arthur could tell by his gaze that Yao had a pretty good idea what 'important thing' Arthur could want to tell his friends. They both knew Arthur was effectively asking 'should I come out or not?'. Luckily Yao went along with it without making any judgements.

"I what we need to establish first is, Artie do you love your friends?" Yao asked, pouring water into the cups.

Arthur nodded confidently.

"And do they love you?"

With a little hesitation and less vigour, Arthur nodded again.

"Well then this 'important' thing will come out when it has to. You might not intend to tell them, if might slip out. But now you're actively thinking about telling them, it may well come across in your personality that you're hiding something from them. They could get worried. But if they love you, then Artie, they'll accept whatever 'important' thing you tell them, even if you take a whole year to tell them. But my advice is, if you want them to know from you, rather than them guessing or pestering you about it, I'd tell them sooner rather than later."

After pausing for a moment to take in the information, Arthur nodded again, though very timidly. Yao knew he'd take a little more convincing.

"Try reversing the situation, Artie," Yao explained patiently, "imagine if they had something important to tell you. Would you rather they waited until they were totally comfortable before telling you, would you want to reassure them that you'd accept them no matter what and that their doubts were silly? There's no right and wrong answer, it's just something good to think about."

The nod Arthur gave this time was definite, and he met Yao's gaze, "thank you, Yao. You're always so level-headed about things like this."

"Well, I may not look it, Artie, but I'm old and wise. Been there, done that. I know what it feels like." Yao smiled, handing a cup of tea to Arthur as he carried through the other two cups. "I'm here to talk whenever you need."

The two walked back into the main room where Alastair was idly playing with his thumbs, waiting for Arthur and Yao to return.

"Right! Alastair, let's hear that piece you were working on last week," Yao said, placing Alastair's cup of tea down on the table by him, and sipping his own. Arthur returned to his place on the sofa where he opened up his homework, scribbling down a few answers before catching Yao's eye and nodding in a thank you. Yao smiled back, giving him a subtle thumbs up.

Arthur felt confident as he walked out of Yao's large doorway that night, following his dad into the car. For the first time in a while, Arthur had a plan that he figured could actually work quite well.

Tomorrow he would tell everyone that he wasn't exactly ruler-straight. And it would be his perfect opportunity as Ludwig, according to Gilbert; was out to go to an athletics competition, and Ludwig was the one person Arthur really, really didn't want to find out about his sexuality.

Bella walked into the German classroom just like she did ever Thursday lesson three. At the beginning of the year she had asked herself over and over why she thought taking German was a good idea; she hated it! It was so complicated to grasp, and she really wished she'd taken something nice like art instead.

Now though, German was a lesson that had been highlighted multiple times in her brain, and she lit up a little inside when she realised that it was a day she had German. She most certainly hadn't warmed up to the language, no, that was still complicated as hell. It was more the class...

She slipped inside the classroom, her eyes darting around the classroom to see if Antonio and Lovino were in the class already. Sure enough the two boys were sitting down either side of her empty chair. Even now when they were this age they'd been put in a boy-girl seating plan. Oh well, Bella thought as she smiled at the two of them, taking her seat, it wasn't like she knew anyone else in the class besides Toni and Lovi. Well, and her brother, but he sat behind them and kept very quiet.

"Hiya you two," Bella said with a pleasant smile, reaching for her book and plopping her pencil case down on top of it.

"Hi Bella, how're you?" Antonio smiled back, both of them ignoring Lovino's grunt, roughly translating to 'hello to you too, Bella'.

"I'm good, I'm good. Tired, but overall very well, you? How 'bout you Lovi?" Bella turned to poke Lovino.

Lovino looked up at her, a frown playing about his face, "Lovino, not Lovi. I'm fine," he pouted, before adding a muttered, "thanks."

"I'm good too," Antonio laughed, reaching over and flicking Lovino lightly on the head, "be nice Lovi."

Lovino grunted, folding his arms on to the desk and using them as a pillow for his head.

"He doesn't complain when you call him Lovi," Bella frowned, looking between the two of them.

Antonio laughed, "I guess it's because I've known him longer? You've opened up your heart to me, Lovi!"

"Fuck off you complete bastard."

Bella and Antonio looked at each other, giggling and then 'aww'-ing at Lovino.

"Hey, Lovi! And Toni and Bella!" Feliciano ran energetically into the classroom, throwing an equally enthusiastic wave goodbye to Alfred, who he'd been walking with, out of the door. He skipped over to the three, and took his seat on the row of tables in front of them.

"Hey Feli," Antonio said, his smile still on his face (did he ever stop smiling...?) He reached out to Feliciano to give him a quick pat on the head, to which the boy whimpered and swiftly sat down.

"Damn it you dumbass idiot, how many times have I told you not to fucking touch our hair!?" Lovino demanded, his eyebrows virtually pointed perfectly diagonally down in anger.

Antonio frowned, (ah so he could express negative emotion...) "yes but you won't tell me why."

The two boys said nothing, which was rare for Feliciano.

Bella could feel an awkward silence coming on, "so did everyone do the homework?"

Antonio opened his book, showing off pages of neat blue pen. Feliciano opened his book as proof, though it was half finished. Lovino at this point had frozen, and opened his book and began scribbling rapidly. Bella laughed at him, rolling her eyes as she opened her book to her completed homework.

Unluckily for Lovino, Mr Kay walked into the classroom right at that point.

"Right class, don't think I've forgotten about the homework. I want it on my desk by the end of the lesson. Anyone who has incomplete homework will be staying behind with me tomorrow lunchtime. And Mr Vargas, if you're going to do your homework in class, at least be a little less obvious about it. Stay behind tomorrow lunch time."

There were a few giggles at Lovino's expression of utter shock and frustration of being caught. Antonio giggled a little, though his expression softened into a pitying glance as Lovino glared at him. 'I'll wait for you' Antonio mouthed to Lovino, who frowned childishly, but mouthed 'fine' back and then flipped his middle finger up at him as an added extra.

"And that'll be an after school detention for swearing like that in class, Lovino," Mr Kay said, not even looking at Lovino as he wrote the date on the board.

Lovino's jaw hung so low you could probably fit a giant gobstopper in there, at a push. And those giant gobstoppers were no joking about. Bella remembered when she was a year seven she'd struggled to hold one in the palm of her hand.

Antonio smiled lightly at Lovino's shock, ripping out a page of his book and scribbling a note. He folded it up, sliding it past Bella and to Lovino. The Italian frowned, raising an eyebrow, but nonetheless he read the note. With a incredibly slight smirk, Lovino rolled his eyes slightly and scribbled a reply, sliding it back to Antonio. Bella raised an eyebrow, slamming her hand down on the note before Antonio could retrieve it. She began to read it, ignoring Lovino's quiet swearing and swipes at trying to get the note back.

Bella smiled as she read the note. Aw these two were such cute besties.

"Don't worry, Lovi! You can copy my homework next time, okay? Mr Kay's mean anyway, who cares about him?" Antonio's neat handwriting had began the note, a cute little smiley face or two accompanying his message. Lovino's untidy scrawl was next to it in reply, saying: "Fuck you I don't need your fucking pity. But... thanks I guess. You'd better fucking wait for me, you bastard." Underneath his message was a heavily scribbled out message that Bella couldn't really make out; it was probably some cute thing Lovino had thought twice about saying because it sounded too 'girly' and 'weak'.

"Give it back, Bella!" Lovino hissed, trying to grab the note off her.

Now Bella was just playing with him, "Nope! You're super cute when you're flustered Lovi," Bella even dared to wink as she whispered, making Lovino bolt upright, and stare at the floor, gritting his teeth.

He extended his hand, which was incredibly tense and looking like he was trying very hard not to clench it into a fist. "Please, just... give me the fucking note," Lovino muttered.

Bella and Antonio exchanged glances as if to confirm that what they were seeing was reality. Antonio looked about ready to drown the whole class in his blood.

"Lovi you're adorable when a girl teases you, good god," Antonio whispered enthusiastically, "if I were to do something like that you'd punch me into the next room."

"Shut the fuck up you bastard and get her to give me the note!"

"Why're you so bothered? It's just a little note!" Bella couldn't resist pushing the boundaries.

Antonio plucked it out of her fingers, scanning Lovino's reply and a smile spread across his face, he whispered to Bella, "aw, it's because he thanked me on the note! He doesn't want anyone to see such a 'soft' side of him. Aw, cute. He's always found it easier to say thank you via written words rather the spoken language. That or reverting to angry Italian."

Bella laughed, oh god he really was cute!

"Though I think we've teased him enough, he might have a seizure if we carry on," Antonio smiled, reaching over Bella's shoulder to gently place the note back in Lovino's hand. The furiously embarrassed Italian's fist clasped around the note, so tight his knuckles began to go white.

Antonio's eyebrows shrank together, looking like an upset puppy, "don't worry, Lovi! No need to be so stressed," he patted Lovino's hand, getting him to relax slightly. It worked, apparently as colour soon appeared in Lovino's knuckles.

"I fucking hate you, you fucking bastard," Lovino said with so much venom in his voice he probably could have killed everyone in the room stone cold dead instantly.

"Do you hate me too, Lovi?" Bella said leaning in closer to him.

He flinched back, looking at the floor again, "I... no I don't fucking hate you. And it's Lovino."

"Ahh Lovi you act so nice to girls, I'm so jealous," Antonio sighed, sinking into his seat.

Bella laughed a little, unsure whether or not to point out that Lovino's attitude still didn't really qualify as 'nice'.

"I'm glad the three of you are having oh so much fun there. If you don't mind I would like to continue with my lesson. Miss Jansen and Mr Carriedo you'll be joining Mr Vargas in detention after school. As for you Mr Vargas, on top of you other two detentions, you can stay behind after school tomorrow as well." Mr Kay's voice brought the three to remember that they were actually sitting in German and meant to be getting on with some obscure task they'd been set.

Bella and Antonio exchanged a glance, confirming they'd both heard the same thing.

"Ha! Justice, fuckers," Lovino drawled, a smug grin spreading across his face.

"And so I said to Shell, 'look Shell, you can't just go around pulling off the handles of filing cabinets and putting them in your pockets! How are people meant to get into the filing cabinet!?' The look on her face was priceless. She just realised that she was actually making it impossible to get inside the cabinets!"

Antonio raised an eyebrow letting out a laugh, "she seriously did that? I thought Michelle was one of those clever girls?"

"God yeah she's got brains, but not an ounce of common sense. You know we were in Manchester, her mum drove past the big Mosque, Shell stuck her head against the window and goes, 'Jesus that's a big Indian takeaway!'"

"She did not think the Mosque was a big Indian takeaway!"

"She did! She's such an idiot bless her," Bella laughed remembering the memory. Antonio joined in with her laughing.

The bell rang and the two of them walked out of the class, side by side, laughing and exchanging stories. Lovino marched angrily behind them beside his brother who was blabbing about how some kid called Ludwig in year nine had made it into their year. Lovino didn't care, though the story did sound familiar to him. All he was bothered about was how close to touching Bella and Antonio's shoulders were.

"See you tomorrow, Bel!" Antonio grinned, waving goodbye. Not good. Shortened names already. Lovino's frown deepened.

"Bye Toni!" Bella chuckled, "bye Lovi!"

Antonio sent a wink over his shoulder, making Bella giggle a little bit. Lovino gritted his teeth. He was not letting it end like that.

So he was stupid and acted on impulse and just in time before Bella turned to walk away, he blew the smallest of kisses at her, a lot more confidently than he had expected to have. He even added a little wink there too. Bella inquisitively raised an eyebrow at him, an interested smile playing about her face as she winked back, skipping off to where Francis had been waiting for her.

And with that, Lovino said nothing and span on his heels, making his way towards science.

Antonio kept up pace behind him, an eyebrow cocked with interest as he did his best to sound casual. "You, flirting? Never knew it had it in you, Lovi!"

"Shut up bastard who said I was flirting?"

"That wink was awfully suggestive that you were indeed flirting with Miss Bella."

"And why would I want to flirt with her?"

"You tell me! She is awfully pretty... clever... has nice friends (apart from that Arthur)... she's lovely too. Not a lot you can falter on there."

Lovino paused, "you sound pretty interested in her, bastard."

"Why, you jealous?" Antonio joked.

It seemed the silence from Lovino accidentally answered Antonio's joke-question.

"What you're actually jealous!?" Antonio said, sounding like Lovino had just told him he could raise the dead and then used his powers to revive dead moths and have tea parties with them.

"Fuck off!"

"Is that a yes though?"

"It's a fuck off you fucking bastard!" Lovino spat, very unsure himself why he wasn't flatly denying it.

"Aw Lovi's jealous~" Antonio sounded way too happy at this revelation.

"No I'm fucking not you absolute fuck up of a human being. Fucking hurry up or we'll be fucking late for science and I'm not getting a fucking fourth detention this week because of you and your stupid fucking Spanish bastard ass."

Antonio didn't say anything in response, but the grin that played on his face stuck around for the majority of the rest of the day. Every time Lovino saw it he was reduced to swearing and denying all jealousy.

"So Bella..." Francis drawled, a blatant grin on his face. "Getting a little flirtatious with those pair of Mediterranean cuties, aren't you?"

"What? What're you talking about, Francis?" Bella said as innocently as she could.

"I saw you! That flirty little wink at the two of them," Francis said, nudging her and typing to extract as much information as he could.

"It wasn't like I winked first. They both winked at me! And besides, you know how Toni and Lovi are; especially Toni. Accidental flirts, the pair of them," Bella said, her voice sounding closer to a mutter now.

"Oh well I saw your face after Toni gave you that wink, Bel," Francis smirked, "I'm French; you think I'd miss the scent of a budding love?"

Bella frowned at him, "I don't love him!"

"No, but you might be starting to, non?"

There was silence, and Bella played with the thought in her mind. "... A crush on Antonio is a possible path for me right now..."

"Aha so it is lovely Antonio then," Francis said, his smile reaching from ear to ear, "ma chère, ma chère, he would be a lovely one to date, non?"

Bella narrowed her eyes, "I thought you were all like 'I'm straight why does everyone think I bang guys oh woe is me'?"

"Just because I suspect that I am heterosexual does not mean I cannot appreciate the beauty of a blooming flower. Plus I would never say 'woe is me', only Arthur would say something like that."

Bella nodded, saying nothing more.

"So Bella fancies Toni then," Francis sang, way too loudly for Bella's liking.

"Shut up Francis, no I don't! It's only a possibility I do! Shut up, shut up!"

To put it simply, whenever the bell for lunch rang, Arthur was shitting himself. Not literally, thankfully, or at least he didn't think it was literal, but he was mildly impressed on the sheer number of flips his stomach could do in a row.

He was still planning on going through with the whole 'come out while Ludwig's gone' thing, but at the last minute he was getting cold feet.

As he was walking with the others from their science classroom to their usual spot right outside the building, Arthur felt the vibration of a text in his pocket. He frowned, it was probably just a message telling him about some 'great new offer'. Still, he reached and checked the message anyway.

To his surprise, it was actually Gilbert. Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"You can rock this dude. Don't just step outta that big English wardrobe of yours, fucking flounce out of it like a fucking awesome bastard. Though knowing you you'll probably open the door, then try and take a step out, trip over your heel and tumble head over heels flat onto your nose. But that's what makes you Artie so that's okay I guess."

What a twat.

But Arthur couldn't help but feel a small smile spread across his face, warmth and confidence filling his veins. Gilbert had remembered that Arthur was going to come out today at lunchtime... He'd sent a text of support. He didn't have to. And Arthur knew that Gilbert's memory was pretty fucking awful.

Even so Arthur was reading an encouraging text off his best friend. His fingers flew across the keys and typed a quick thank you reply, ensuring to have an insult strapped to the end so it didn't look too soppy. As they rounded the corner to their little deserted corridor they sat in, Arthur cleared his throat. Everyone looked in his direction, wondering why on earth he was being so formal.

"Right um I have um..." shit cut it out with the 'ums', Arthur! "Something to tell you all. I figured I'd take the opportunity to say it while Ludwig is gone because, well I'd appreciate it if he didn't find out what I'm about to tell you. It could cause... problems."

Michelle cut through the silence, an eyebrow cocked, "why the politeness, Artie?"

Arthur didn't answer, but shot Michelle a look as if to say 'look I'll explain in a moment or two'.

"Well, um, you see the... the thing is... I um... I think that I... as a person am... eh well how would you phrase this I um... There is a social protocol that um everyone should find their respected partner who is um another gen-... no um, no... I think that we should all just love who we want to... no, no, eh..." Arthur had tripped, fallen and rolled multiple times out of his closet, just as Gilbert had predicted. And he hadn't stopped rolling yet.

"What I'm trying to say is... um... most of you... Elizabeta likes girls... and I um..."

"Mon cher you are making an embarrassing mess out of this. Would you like me to take over and explain to them for you?" Francis sighed, knowing that Arthur was coming out. All of them probably knew what Arthur was trying to say by now of course. But Francis already knew Arthur was gay, or interested in men, anyway, as he had helped Arthur figure out his 'feelings' about Gilbert last year.

Arthur nodded sheepishly, ashamed that he wasn't able to tell them all himself.

"What dear Artie was trying to say was he is interested in men. And that is all," Francis sat down, clearing his throat.

No one really reacted like Arthur had thought they would. He figured there would be a few gasps, maybe a 'I didn't see it coming!' and maybe someone flipping out and saying stuff like 'you're not even fifteen how can you know that about yourself!?'.

In actual fact, no one really reacted at all.

Yes, Bella was smiling at Arthur (though she had known previously due to cracking Francis like a nut...) Michelle had a knowing grin plastered over her face, and Elizabeta looked incredibly pleased that she wasn't the only remotely gay one in the group. But no one said anything.

"Is that it then?" Arthur raised an eyebrow, "I come out and there is still no reaction from you."

"Well there's not a lot to react to, Artie," Bella smiled sweetly, "we see you the same way we saw you before."

"Yeah, rude, an idiot but oddly likable," Michelle laughed loudly, Arthur shot her a glare.

"I kinda saw it coming," Elizabeta grinned, with a wink. "Though out of curiosity, when did you... 'know'?"

Arthur looked into the air, trying to think, "well... it kinda all started when Gil said he liked me last year."

"Gilbert confessed to you!?" Elizabeta near enough shouted, eyes wide with glee, "Gil liked you? No fucking way that is brilliant."

Arthur furrowed his brow, "well yeah... then we kinda did some... stuff... and I felt shit guilty. For a while I just said I was bi-curious..."

"What stuff did you do!?" Michelle demanded, leaning forward, finally interested.

"Oh Artie, you and Gilbert did do stuff I knew it!" Elizabeta said. "Though Francis why aren't you surprised."

Francis shrugged, a smug look on his face, "last year dear Arthur was a lost little lamb. Where else does a lost lamb go to help other than it's shepherd?"

"You are not my fucking shepherd," Arthur near enough spat.

"No, but I did help you out of a dilemma with Gilbert, did I not?"

"No you made it ten times fucking worse! You made us both think that we romantically liked each other when we were really just two horny gay best friends who were a little more open to experimentation than your average pair of best friends! You and your melodrama has basically turned me into a frigid, guilt-troubled idiot for the rest of my life!" Arthur said, eyebrows pointing down angrily as the three girls watched the two boys, interested expressions on their faces.

"Mon cher, how am I to judge sexual actions without romance? I have never laid a finger on someone in a sexual way that I do not feel romantically about. You and Gilbert simply jumped straight to the sexual part, not letting your feelings for each other develop. And for your information, you were a frigid, guilt-troubled idiot before Gilbert confessed to you, mon cher, you just didn't realise it."

"You fucking bastard! There were no feelings to develop!" Arthur looked close to hitting Francis, so Michelle swooped in to save the two of them fighting.

"Artie you were telling us how you came to see that you liked guys?"

With a final dirty glare at Francis, Arthur continued, "so anyway, yeah Gil and me did some stuff. I felt like shit and kinda figured it was just because I was bi-curious... But then, about last week I figured I had a crush on... well a guy. It kinda made sense that I like guys, you know? But I don't know if I'm gay, bisexual, whatever, I just don't want to put a label on it yet."

Arthur realised with the sudden interest in everyone's expressions that he had said exactly the thing that he didn't want to say.

His plan was to come out, yes.

But nowhere in his plan did he have any intention to tell them that he fancied Alfred.

Shit.

"Oh so you have a crush on someone..." Bella smirked.

"It's Gilbert isn't it? It is totally Gil," Elizabeta sounded incredibly confident.

"Go on then, Artie! Out with it and tell us who's the lucky lad!" Michelle had a cunning look in her eye.

"My, my, mon cher I knew nothing of this! Who might it be?"

Arthur groaned, "look I'm not telling you! I've told you guys enough already!"

"No, no you can't leave us there!" Michelle insisted, "that's like ending a book series on the biggest cliff-hanger ever and dying before you tell everyone the solution!"

"I know, we should guess!" Bella suggested, "if we get it right you have to tell us!"

"What no! I don't have to do anything!" Arthur said, feeling like he'd drawn an incredibly short straw somewhere along the line.

"Okay... So is it Gilbert?" Elizabeta guessed.

"What? No!"

"Urm... Think who might Artie have a crush on..." Michelle muttered, "Humm... Kiku?"

"No! And I'm not going to tell you if you're right, either!" Arthur insisted determinedly.

"Aw... your piano teacher, what's his name? Yao!" Bella tried.

"No!"

"Mr Evans your history teacher," guessed Francis.

Arthur very nearly wavered in his denial, as Mr Evans was incredibly attractive for a teacher. Arthur and Gilbert had had many a note-conversation about they both wouldn't mind having an 'after school detention' with a guy like Mr Evans.

"I know!" Michelle cried confidently, "Francis!"

"Don't be such a fucking idiot," Arthur growled.

About ten incorrect guesses later the four guessers sat there in a puzzled silence.

"Who could it be? You say we definitely know him?" Bella frowned.

"Yes, you do."

"Hey Liz, who's in our separate science class that could be him?" Michelle chewed on her lip. Arthur tensed up, shit they were getting too close for his liking.

"Eh... there's Matthew... Kiku, but we guessed him... The two Italy brothers... It's not them is it? No? Um... That hot Greek kid? Nope?"

Silence for a moment.

"Oh I know!" Michelle sprung to her feet, "it's a long shot, but... is it Alfred?"

Arthur had his vocal chords ready to say no, every part of his body was screaming the two simple letters. No! No it wasn't Alfred F. fucking Jones!

Then why was he staying so fucking silent?

"No way did I get it right!?" Michelle's eyes widened with glee.

Arthur finally broke his silence, however he was too late and his denials too panicked, "no, no why on earth would I like an American twat like him? No!"

"We all know what that pause means, Artie!" Bella giggled, though the laugh didn't quite reach her eyes. Before Arthur could ponder any more, Francis was slinging an arm around him.

"Ah mon frère, a crush on Alfred F. Jones must be a hard road to take; such popularity with the girls! Is he even into men?" Francis sighed pitifully, sounding incredibly patronising which was pissing Arthur off.

"He is though isn't he?" Elizabeta piped up. Everyone looked at her raising an eyebrow (other than Arthur who was staring grumpily at the floor). "He and Gilbert dated."

Silence.

"Oh shit Gilbert dated Alfred," Elizabeta said with a gasp after a moment. Everyone realised the significance of this.

Arthur grunted a little, "yes he did and don't think I've forgotten that."

"Gil'll be okay with that though!" Elizabeta laughed 'reassuringly'. "It was last year and they dated for what, a week? Did they even kiss? Gilbert dated a guy for what, six months since then! And there's apparently something happening between him and Matthew... Of course he won't mind, he's your best friend Artie, he probably doesn't give Alfred a second thought."

"He does," Arthur said dryly.

"What? How do you know?" Michelle demanded.

"We talked about it," Arthur answered flatly, giving up all hope of every having any privacy. "I don't think it'll cause any problems at the moment while it's just a crush... If my feelings ever develop however... or if on the impossible chance anything did happen with Alfred, then yes, it could make things a little... strained between the two of us."

The group exchanged glances, Michelle beginning to complain how that was incredibly unfair from Arthur's point of view, Elizabeta disagreeing with Michelle's comments, trying to empathise with Gilbert's point of view. Francis began to take Elizabeta's side, and Bella took Micelle's.

"Look, all I'm saying is that Arthur should be able to like whoever he wants!" Michelle complained.

"Yeah, I agree with you, Shell! But surely Gil should be allowed to like whoever he wants, too?" Elizabeta frowned, keeping her tone good-natured.

"But Gilbert might start to get hostile if something does happen, and that's not fair on Arthur..." Bella muttered.

Francis smoothly replied now, "I think we can't be so quick to assume that Gilbert will be 'hostile' towards, Arthur though, if nothing is yet to happen..."

Arthur sighed, climbing to his feet, "look can we just... drop this. Like no offence, guys, but with the exception of Elizabeta, none of you really know Gil, and even Liz, you don't know him as well as you could. I appreciate your concern, but it feels a bit weird you bitching about my best friend in front of me, you know?"

Everyone exchanged a guilty glance, apologising to Arthur each with their own unique sorry glance and they all sank into a sitting position back on the floor.

"Thank you," Arthur sighed also sitting down.

There was a bit of an awkward silence.

After a pause, Arthur said in a very small voice, "so... you're all okay with me liking guys, for definite?"

The group looked back at him, a few raised eyebrows and a laugh or two.

"We didn't make that clear enough already?" Laughed Michelle.

The bell rang, and Michelle, Bella, Elizabeta and Francis all jumped on Arthur, enveloping him into a giant hug.

"You know, considering you're the cleverest in our group, apart from Ludwig maybe, you aren't half stupid," Elizabeta laughed, ruffling Arthur's hair happily as they made their way slowly to whatever boring lesson they were doomed to sit through next.

Justice for the students rang out at exactly 3pm as usual, Arthur's class all flooding out of the 'emergency' fire door around the back of English, jubilantly celebrating their short-term freedom.

"Gil, you coming?" Arthur asked, jerking his thumb in the direction of the main gate.

"I can't sorry, man, Mattie wanted to see me in music," Gilbert frowned, scratching the back of his neck in obvious apprehension, "I'll see you tomorrow though, yeah?"

"Yeah," Arthur smiled slightly, "good luck, mate, bye! Text me what happens!"

Arthur ran off to catch up with Francis and the others who were slowly walking home. Gilbert's eyes followed them longingly, really not wanting to deal with what he knew he was about to deal with. But, he could do it, he told himself! He couldn't really keep Mattie waiting, he was probably nervous as hell.

So with that, Gilbert spun on his heel with a great sigh, and, waving to Antonio and Lovino as they passed him, he sauntered slowly off to the small music block.

As promised, when Gilbert closed the door to Mr Clarke's classroom, Matthew was waiting patiently, twiddling his thumbs as he stared down at the piano he was standing near. He was facing away from the door, and apparently hadn't heard it shut.

"Yo, Mattie," Gilbert said quietly, not wanting to startle Matthew too much.

"Ah! Gil, hi!" Matthew span on his heels too fast, overthrowing the spin so he toppled off balance a little. He looked a little pinker than usual, his glasses a little lopsided on his nose, his shirt and tie were crooked beneath his blazer, generally radiating clumsy bashfulness.

"Where'd Clarke go? And Mr Fisher... Usually they stick around for a while after school," Gilbert said, not really caring about the answer, he just needed something to prevent from awkward silence. It would probably make things easier for Matthew if they began with casual conversation, too.

"I don't really know where Mr Fisher is... but Mr Clarke said that he had to go and set up something in the hall. I think he's just playing the piano really loudly though..." Matthew laughed a little at the end of his sentence. It was known throughout the school that you could often hear furious piano playing if you passed by the hall after hours; Mr Clarke liked to 'release pent-up frustration' on the school's wonderful ebony concert grand piano.

Laughing too, Gilbert said, "yeah he probably won't be back for a while... So what did you need to talk to me about, Mattie?"

That was a loaded sentence apparently as for a split second, Matthew completely froze, his face displaying that of terror, his muscles tensing, and generally looking like a petrified deer. He managed to quickly recover, smiling awkwardly, "eh... well, I... I'm really not sure how to say it."

"Okay but before you do, man," Gilbert sat on a table, making direct eye contact with Matthew, "no matter what you say, then we'll still be awesome friends, yeah? Unless you come out and say you eat people or something, then we might not be the best of friends, but yeah."

With a genuine smile, Matthew nodded, clearing his throat, this time looking Gilbert straight in the eye. "I guess there's no other way to say it... I... um... Gil, I really like you. And obviously I don't mean friend-like. I really do romantically like you. And I have for a while. Not long enough to say love... but my feelings for you... they're... they're serious. More than a crush, I mean."

Gilbert sighed internally, knowing it was coming. He still wished he'd been wrong. He had yet to figure out a nice way to reject Matthew. Squeezing his eyes closed for a second he decided there was no other way but to improvise, taking inspiration from the time Gilbert had confessed 'feelings' to Arthur, and how Arthur had very kindly, yet still painfully, rejected his feelings.

"Mattie... I... " Gilbert walked over to Matthew, and with a small smile he stroked Matthew's hair once or twice, "for one, thanks, man. For liking me, for being my friend, for having the courage to confess. Seriously, you probably are mega proud of yourself for confessing. I would be! Seriously it's really fucking hard," I would know, Gilbert muttered mentally. "But..."

Matthew practically deflated in front of him, the look on his face said he'd been expecting the but all along.

"I-I'm sorry, Mattie..." Gilbert sighed, keeping his tone light, "I really don't feel in the position to be in a relationship right now. I feel that I could very easily... hurt you. And I don't want to do that, no. I want to be your friend, and I don't think a relationship would be a good way to keep it that way. For now anyway," Gilbert met Matthew's watery eyes, smiling gently. "Right now I'm in a place where I just want to fool around and act on whim, and if I did that while in a relationship with you, I might hurt you." Gilbert cursed inwardly as he remembered the fooling around he'd done with Arthur just that weekend.

Matthew stayed silent for a moment, looking at the floor. "That... that's okay," he nodded, mostly to himself, "I... I did kind of expect this. I kinda thought there was something going on with you and... someone else. I understand. Obviously it... it hurts a bit, but... I'll be okay." Matthew looked up to Gilbert, giving him the largest of smiles, tears welling in the corners of his partially shut eyes.

That was what did it for Gilbert. Guilt dripped slowly from his head, dripping down his bones until it reached the very tips of his toes. He felt his own lip wobble very slightly as he enveloped Matthew into a gigantic bear hug, kissing his forehead.

"I'm sorry, Mattie... I... please don't cry...?" Gilbert managed, knowing he was probably sounding crappy and lame, but right now his mind was blank and panicking. He wasn't really prepared for this.

"We're still friends, yeah?" Matthew muttered into Gilbert's blazer.

"What did I say before we even began?" Gilbert laughed lightly, "the most awesome friends, yeah?"

Matthew nodded, pulling out of the hug and smiling again, this time his tears were gone. Gilbert could relax a little, at least. The last thing he wanted to do was make Matthew cry, though he probably would burst into tears when he got back home... though Gilbert couldn't really help that, could he?

"D'ya want me to walk you home, Mattie?"

Looking up to meet Gilbert's smiling eyes, Matthew nodded, "yes, that, that would be really nice."

"C'mon then," Gilbert grinned, holding out a hand for Matthew to take as he dragged the both of them out of the classroom, small, understanding smiles never leaving either of their mouths.

Matthew only let go of Gilbert's hand whenever they reached Matthew's front door.

"Thank you," said Matthew while bashfully meeting Gilbert's eyes.

"Dude it's no problem, you live like, ten minutes away from me. Not like a million miles! Look, I order you to go inside and not talk to anyone and go and get the best ice cream you can find and get some fuckin' pancakes and go all syrup on them and just watch the best movies, okay?" Gilbert was as serious as he sounded.

"I was intending to do that anyway," Matthew laughed lightly as he rummaged for his key.

He unlocked the door slowly, pausing to look down at his feet then back up to Gilbert.

"Thank you, Gilbert, really. I... I don't think anyone else would have been as considerate as you. Ha, I guess that's why I like you."

That made Gilbert panic a little, "aha well, na I wouldn't say I would be the only one to do this! I'm sure Arthur would have been more considerate than this...!"

Matthew's sudden blank expression and the pause in conversation told Gilbert that mentioning Arthur was the complete wrong thing to do in this situation.

"Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow, man," Gilbert skimmed over the mistake, and luckily Matthew let go of it as well, his expression softening, "have a good night, yeah?" Gilbert reached over and ruffled Matthew's hair, and after hesitating to think about it, he gave the golden curls another little peck.

Hoping that that didn't count as leading him on, Gilbert turned, hopping down Matthew's stairs up to his door, and then turning back to the open door, waving wildly at Matthew, who had a hand held up to his hair.

"Bye, bye!" Gilbert grinned, and ran off, Matthew waved Gilbert as he ran, only shutting the door once his platinum white head had disappeared around a corner. Matthew sank to the floor on the safe side of his door, covering his mouth with one hand, keeping the other pressed firmly against his head where Gilbert had kissed him for a second time.

Matthew quickly stood up. He needed that ice cream right now. He darted into the kitchen, shouting a hello at his mother, and quickly bolted for the stairs before she could question him about his red face and quiet yet cracking voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might cry I did like a ten thousand word plan for this fic and I'm already losing interest in writing it. I had so many ideas! They're all there on the word document! I've had this chapter written since before Chapter 1 was posted, I just lost all motivation to post it! Chapter 4 is half written, can I get up the motivation to finish it? No idea.
> 
> So for that, I'll apologise in advance. I have no idea if I'll finish this fic, and I'm so very sorry about that.
> 
> But I do hope I carry on writing it! I do like this idea, and I am thankful for all of you giving feedback on it, you lovely people, you. Thank you for that, you do motivate me an awful lot. And I like writing Alastair and Owain a lot ehe.
> 
> I'll try to gain some motivation. In the meantime I'm going to go and sew a ball gown.
> 
> Thank you for any feedback, it is always appreciated.


	4. Staying in the Closet is for Losers.

**Chapter Four: Staying in the Closet is for Losers.**

The Friday before the October half term could not have arrived sooner. It was the first holiday of the year and a much needed rest for the majority of students. Gilbert was awaiting the holidays with massive anticipation, knowing it would not only mean an awesome long rest and lie-ins in the morning, but also some time to actually spend with Arthur and Kiku. It saddened Gilbert as Arthur was his bestie and Kiku a very close friend but they saw very little of each other outside of school (mainly because the two of them were so _busy_ ) but the holidays gave them no excuse to not meet up with him!

"So we're meeting up tomorrow, yeah?" Gilbert confirmed for the umpteenth time.

Kiku smiled, "yes, Gilbert," he was proud that he remembered to drop the honoriphic, "we're still meeting up tomorrow."

"Good!" Gilbert smiled from ear to ear, ruffling Kiku's hair. "You doing anything for Halloween?"

"I don't really know... my family don't usually do anything, no. Why?"

"Well Artie's usually big with apple bobbing and stuff like that, and his brother Owain always makes like, the best pumpkin pie in the world. And really good Welsh cakes. He asked me to come around again this year, and he said I could ask you to tag along too if you wanted?"

Kiku quirked an eyebrow at the invitation, interested, "I can't see why Arthur-san might want _me_ there. What about Michelle-san and his other friends?"

"Well you two used to be pretty close, right?" Gilbert smiled, "obviously you don't _have_ to go of course."

Kiku shook his head, "oh no, no, I didn't mean I didn't want to go. On the contrary, it would be... lovely," he nodded, lips twitching at the sides slightly, "yes I'll do my best to be there."

"Oh good!" Gilbert said with a clap, "I'll make sure to tell him!" They paused, neither speaking as they swam in their own thoughts. Suddenly Gilbert asked; "hey, why _did_ you two kinda stop talking?"

Kiku avoided all eye contact, not really wanting to remember about the reason he and Arthur had become so distant in recent months. He still felt a tsunami of guilt hit him every time he remembered it. But perhaps Halloween would allow the two of them to overcome past problems and become close friends again like they once had been.

"It... I'm not sure really," Kiku answered finally, apologising mentally for Gilbert for lying to him.

"Ah well people do drift apart I guess..." Gilbert sighed. After a pause he took a different direction of conversation. "Hey Kiku, you know how I'm into dudes?"

Kiku stiffened, not sure where Gilbert was going with this, "um... y-yes."

"Don't worry, man, I'm not coming on to you or anything. But yeah, I was thinking... I really wanna tell my dad."

"Oh?"

"Yeah... Like I'm his own son and he doesn't even know the _real_ me, y'know? Like, I just want someone that close to me to... _know_." Gilbert sighed, looking dejectedly at the floor.

Kiku frowned, "I understand. Though, what's stopping you from telling him, Gilbert?"

With a cold chuckle Gilbert sent Kiku a wry smile, "he's a fuckin' homophobe."

"Ah," Kiku sighed, "yes... I can see how that could be a..." he paused, "... problem," was his weak finish.

Gilbert chuckled, ruffling Kiku's hair lightly, "well, at least you're trying to help Kiku. But d'ya reckon I should tell him or...?"

Kiku took a pause before answering, frowning in though. He said eventually, "personally, I wouldn't tell him. Not yet, anyway. Perhaps when you date a boy you feel particularly... fond of, maybe then. But right now, along with exams and other problems like that, I think this is a problem you don't really need to deal with."

"Arthur said pretty much the same thing," Gilbert nodded, "and I agree with you both, if I'm honest. There's just part of me that is being driven _insane_ by having to hide, and I can almost _feel_ it ripping it's self out, wanting to tell everyone in the fucking world. I reckon I'll do it by accident one night over dinner. God it might shock him so much he'll choke. And _Ludwig's_ reaction will be _priceless_." Gilbert laughed to himself.

"Well I'm glad you can take such a positive outlook to such a glum situation," Kiku turned up the corners of his mouth slightly.

"No point in moping, is there?" Gilbert laughed as the bell rang for the end of break.

"Ayy, it's Francis! Get in there, mate," some random year 10 kid punched Francis lightly on the shoulder as they passed in the corridor. Francis narrowed his eyes at the guy, not gracing him with words of annoyance.

As he continued his walk to PE, he passed a group of girls who glared at him, one even making gagging noises. Francis simply rolled his eyes, glaring at them.

Beside him, Bella and Seychelles peered up at him pityingly. They'd noticed similar behaviour every time they'd walked with Francis through the school today. They had no idea what he had done to be given such attention. By Francis' lack of retaliation, it probably meant he _did_ know what was going on, though he didn't mention anything.

They all got to PE quickly, getting registered and into the changing rooms. The moment Francis swung shut the door of the boys changing rooms, there were grins and sarcastic applause from the majority of the boys. Francis gritted his teeth and held his head up high not giving them the satisfaction of meeting their devilish grins. He strided through to the second, quieter side room, closing the door behind him angrily. Luckily only a few boys were there; Gilbert, Matthew, Kiku, Ludwig and... _Arthur._ The moment Francis set eyes on him, his jaw tightened, his eyes narrowed and he stormed up to the unknowing boy.

"What the _hell_ have you spread about me and Emma?" Francis demanded, nearly spitting in his fury.

"What!? I haven't spread anything about you and Emma!" Arthur's eyebrows shot up in confused surrender, his face only expressing utter befuddlement.

" _You_ have gone and spread that... I... did..." Francis trailed off, burning with shame and embarrassment at the thought.

"What!?" Arthur repeated again, totally baffled.

"That I... took her virginity! Against her will!" he whispered harshly, clenching his jaw.

Arthur finally managed to get out of Francis grasp, "Francis I have _no_ idea what you're on about! I didn't spread anything about you two! I knew you... nearly had sex, but I didn't tell anyone! I certainly didn't tell anyone you fucking _raped_ her!"

Francis stiffened, "the accusation wasn't that I _raped_ her, Arthur!"

Gilbert intervened here, not liking being totally forgotten about, "I hate to tell you, Francis, but that basically is the definition of rape, man."

Francis' eyes widened, knowing Gilbert was right. He began to feel nauseas, so he shakily sat down, helplessly placing his head in his hands. "People - they - they wouldn't _believe_ that about me, right? No one would believe I would do something like that, would they?" He looked at Arthur and Gilbert frantically, looking petrified.

"I wish I could tell you they wouldn't, but this is school, people believed that the head and a maths teacher banged in one of the pupil bathrooms just last week... I don't really see why this would be much different..." Arthur sighed, forgetting about his false accusation for the time being.

"How _could_ you tell people I did that, Arthur!?" Okay so apparently Francis hadn't forgotten about that.

"I told you, I didn't fucking tell anyone, Francis! You know who you _should_ blame? Your bloody ex girlfriend! Think about it _logically_ Francis; I had no motive to spread that shit about you, and contrary to your beliefs (and what I feel about you right now) I do actually see you as a half-decent friend! Hell even if I hated you as much as I claim to, I wouldn't spread that about _anyone!_ Quite frankly I'm hurt you even suggested that it was me." Arthur had never been more truthful towards Francis, he realised after saying it. He wasn't sure why, but he felt quite proud for actually telling him the truth rather than lying about his feelings.

Gilbert chimed in here, "yeah, Francis, Artie's right. Why would he do that? But seriously you should be blaming, or assuming at the very least, that it was the chick. You broke up on bad terms, right? And she's a bit of an attention seeker. So what will spread shit about you, get her sympathy, and just generally make you look like the bad guy? Her spreading that rumour. It's pretty fucking obvious it was her, man."

Arthur nodded at Gilbert in thanks for the support.

Francis didn't look at either of them and simply shook his head, "no, no she wouldn't do anything like that. No, she just wouldn't!"

"Oh so thanks for putting more faith in your hellish ex girlfriend than your mate," Arthur frowned, "I'm going to wait for Shell and the others outside. See you both in there."

"Hold up Arthur I'm coming with," Gilbert clambered to his feet, running after his friend, leaving Matthew, Ludwig and Kiku staring at Francis, confused and unsure as to what just went on.

Francis sighed, resting his head in his hands before beginning to undo his shirt.

"Cheer up, Francis, I'm sure it'll all blow over soon," Matthew smiled as optimistically as he could.

"Thank you, _mon cher_ , though I am not so sure."

"I can't believe he thought it was me, though!" Arthur complained, pretending to warm up Miss Yates passed, smiling encouragingly at him.

"Ah well you see about that," Michelle looked at him, an awkward half-smile on her face.

"What?" Arthur didn't like where this was going.

"You - you might have to pretend it was you who spilled it," Bella said sheepishly.

"Fuck off! Not likely!" Arthur was confused and outraged at the unfairness of the situation. "Why on earth would I do that?"

"Well you see Shell and I were talking about this just last night..." Bella sighed, Michelle nodded along in earnest. "Francis and Liz aren't on the best of terms right now."

"So!?"

With a dramatic sigh, Michelle spilled the beans, "Liz just told us in the changing rooms that she... may have accidentally told someone that Francis had sex with Emma. And she didn't want it. And that someone may have told someone else... who may have told someone else after that."

"Elizabeta started the rumour and you want me to cover for her." Arthur said flatly, sound so controlled that the two girls were very worried that they'd broken him and he was about to blow up in anger.

Michelle frantically began to try and fix the situation. "Okay, yes it's incredibly unfair on your part we get that! But think of it this way, Arthur. If Francis does find out it was Liz that spilled it, then that tension between them will be shattered like a piece of glass and a huge sledgehammer. The shards will fly everywhere! There will be a _giant_ argument, the whole group could take sides and fall apart for all we know! We need to prioritise keeping things peaceful between the two of them while they fix things between themselves, you know? Please, Arthur, we know we're asking a lot from you, but _please_."

"We're really scared of everyone starting to hate each other..." Bella added quietly.

Damn it, Arthur cursed to himself. It was that little vulnerable hint in Bella's voice that tugged on his heart strings.

"Okay I'll fucking do it but I do _not_ like this, you two! And don't think I'm going up to Francis and saying 'yo I spilled that shit about you and your ex'. But if he does confront me again... I won't say it was Elizabeta. But I'm not owning up to it, okay! You owe me!"

Bella and Michelle's faces lit up and the two of them threw their arms around Arthur who impatiently tried to shrug them off.

"Thank you, Arthur!" Bella said, her smile stretching from ear to ear. Michelle simply grinned like an idiot.

"Though it is totally bitchy of him to assume it was me over that bitch of an ex of his..." Arthur muttered.

"Now, as lovely as it is to see friends deepening their bonds over god knows what, I put you three in a group together assuming you'd actually do some work, you know." Miss Yates wondered over, frowning at the three.

Busted again, Arthur sighed.

"Sorry, Miss."

"You and Michelle are getting particularly chatty recently, Arthur," she raised an eyebrow, "perhaps you two are more than friends...?" Everyone knew Miss Yates was a sucker for gossip.

"Na, miss, not likely!" came a call from across the hall, where Gilbert stood grinning, "Artie only loves _me!_ Who wouldn't fall for my awesome charm?"

Those who heard looked up from their stretching, laughing at Gilbert's lax attitude before returning to torturing their muscles while stretching.

"Very good, Gilbert," Miss Yates laughed. "Get on with it, all of you!" she left with a grin.

After she left, Arthur buried his face in his hands, "why am I friends with such an idiot...?"

Michelle and Bella only giggled, not giving him an ounce of sympathy.

Lunch time swung around quickly, something Arthur had been awaiting patiently all day and now the time had come his stomach was growling angrily, demanding food.

They all passed out of the canteen, deciding to sit outside as it was an oddly pleasant day for October. It was the usual group; Arthur, Michelle, Bella, Elizabeta, Ludwig and Francis, who was being particularly quiet. Silently choosing a bench furthest away from the noisy swarms of younger children, everyone took their seats at the bench, engaging in light small talk while getting out their food.

Arthur lifted his head up at the perfect moment, his breathing hitching for a slight moment as he saw Alfred pass by the table, obviously on his way to the football field with his friends, like usual. Arthur totally hadn't kept track of where Alfred hung around with his friends

He thought he was the only one who noticed Alfred's presents near them. Apparently not...

"Hey Artie," Elizabeta grinned as Alfred was a safe distance away, "try not to swoon! Shall we go follow them?"

Arthur froze looking at Elizabeta as if she was completely insane. He was starting to wonder if she was! What the hell was she playing at? There was so many things wrong with the thing she'd just said! No he was not bloody swooning! Just because he'd told her about having a liking for a certain American did _not_ mean he had any desire to be reminded of it every time he passed! And, oh _shit_...

... Not to mention the fact that a certain German was sitting with them...

... A certain German who was homophobic and in the dark about Arthur liking Alfred...

Oh _shit_.

Ludwig frowned, "Swoon?"

"Where have you been, Ludwig, Arthur fancies Alfred!"

Oh no she did not.

Oh for fuck's sake.

Arthur scanned around the table, luckily Michelle, Bella and Francis all shared his look of bewilderment. So he wasn't going insane then.

Suddenly something seemed to click inside Elizabeta's mind, "Oh, oh shit."

"Yes _oh shit."_ Arthur growled, his voice coated with utter contempt.

Ludwig got to his feet, "... You...?"

Arthur also stood up, thankful for the age difference between him and Ludwig, otherwise Ludwig very well could have been taller than Arthur. "What about me?" Arthur demanded, it was a challenge more than a question.

"You're gay?"

"Well done for putting it together," Arthur sounded a little more unfriendly than he intended to. He was already on guard just _knowing_ what Ludwig's reaction would be.

Sure enough Ludwig's expression turned sour at this confirmation. "Homosexuality is wrong," he said simply.

"Yeah said some church who worship some invisible man in the sky and have popes with a reputation of molesting kids." Arthur spat. Okay this was definitely coming out more unfriendly than he sounded. Oh well, nothing he could do about it now.

Ludwig looked about ready to burst a blood vessel in his forehead, but his expression stayed calm, "that's... you're wrong. What do _you_ know about that? You're just a disgusting gay..." he paused to think of a word to finish the insult.

"Cunt?" Arthur offered 'helpfully'.

"Yes."

"Well I'm sorry but you're going to have to get over that. Or just, you know, go off. Find other friends. Oh but who would want to be friends with the homophobic genius who skipped a year and thinks of himself as oh so much higher than the rest of us lowly humans?"

Ludwig growled very quietly under his breath, "well I'm not the one who's going to fail all my exams and die of AIDs and... go to... hell." He finished weakly.

Oh god he had to work on his insults.

Though saying that, Arthur wasn't exactly great at pulling off 'slick burns' either.

Luckily though, Arthur didn't have to think of anything more to say as Michelle, who was beside herself with anger stood up behind Arthur, quite obviously backing him up.

"Well go on, if you find him so disgusting then just _leave!_ " Michelle said, trying to keep her voice calm, but there was a slight tinge to it which gave it an almost psychotic edge to it.

Ludwig was a little taken aback by this; probably aided by the fact that Michelle was a hell of a lot more intimidating than Arthur.

"Go on! Leave! Or what, are you afraid that there's no one to go to?" Michelle's eyes were narrowed to slits, her tone nastier than Arthur's. "Get the fuck away from us if you think Arthur's so disgusting. You never know, we might have germs, too. Wouldn't want to catch nasty fag germs, would you?"

Stiffening, Ludwig looked ready to reply but was cut off by the bell.

"You got lucky." Michelle growled simply, grabbing Arthur's arm and leading him away, sheepishly followed by Francis, Bella and Elizabeta, none of whom even looked at Ludwig when passing by him.

Gilbert frowned. English was very boring without Arthur beside him to pass notes to. Mr Key called out the register, the usual chime of 'here' called out in reply to the monotonous call of their name.

"Arthur?" when there was no reply Mr Key looked up from his computer, scanning the classroom from behind his dirty glasses.

"He's at the doctor's, sir," Gilbert explained. Mr Key muttered something under his breath, probably a complaint about people having appointments during lessons, and then moved on to the next name.

"Well at least you won't be bothered by him now, Ludwig," Michelle growled under her breath. Gilbert frowned, wondering what was going on behind him. Michelle and Ludwig sat directly behind him, so he could her everything, even when Ludwig shifted in his seat or Michelle tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear.

"Michelle I'd appreciate it if you let me get on with my work," Ludwig hissed.

"Guess what, Genius-boy? The lesson hasn't even started yet. Not even you could be working. The fact you have the nerve to sit next to me after what happened..." Michelle sounded beyond pissed.

Ludwig scoffed under his breath, "well, Michelle, where do you suggest I sit? Pray tell, because from where I'm sitting there's not a single spare seat in this class."

"Well apart from the one right in front of you. Arthur's not here _remember?"_ Michelle laughed hollowly, "oh wait no, you wouldn't sit there. You could get homo germs on that sorry ass of yours and die of AIDs."

Gilbert swore he could have heard her mutter very quietly something like, "wouldn't that be a relief..."

Wait. Homo germs. AIDs?

Gilbert spun on his chair, brow furrowing, "what's going on with you two?"

Michelle and Ludwig both sent him a look lined with daggers.

"Nothing at all, Gilbert," Ludwig frowned, continuing to write the date neatly in his book.

"What're you talking about?" Michelle said as innocently as she could manage.

Raising an eyebrow apathetically Gilbert sighed, "I'm not stupid, contrary to what most think," he frowned at himself, he was starting to sound like Arthur. "I can hear you both talking about Arthur and 'homo germs'."

Michelle sneered. "Your cunt of a brother was being a homophobic little whiny bitch. Elizabeta goes and spilled the beans about Artie having a thing for Alfred, didn't she?" Gilbert stiffened, "so naturally because I'm just a normal human being, I decided to put a stop to his homophobia!"

"But so far all you've managed to do is be an annoying wench," Ludwig glared at her.

Gilbert sighed, "calm it you two, will you?" he turned to Ludwig first, "bro, seriously it's not good to be homophobic in the twenty first century."

"It is simply my opinion."

"Yeah, feel free to have your opinion, you don't have to be gay. But some other people are, you're just going to have to accept that!"

"But it's totally unnatural!" Ludwig protested, not being swayed.

Rubbing his temples in frustration, Gilbert tried again, "look you're going to have to treat it like... I don't know, _I_ came out gay," aha oh the irony like that would ever happen. "Because we live together; there's no escaping me. If you want to stick with your friends then you're going to have to accept them for who they are."

Apparently Gilbert had said something very wrong as both Michelle and Ludwig looked very offended.

"Friends? They're not my _friends_ ," Ludwig spat.

"We never _asked_ for him! He just tagged along with us! He can go ahead and leave for all I care, I just don't want him hanging around us like a homophobic fly that refuses to go out of the _very_ open window."

Blinking and feeling defenceless Gilbert raised his hands, "well so- _rry,_ Jesus I'm staying out of this complicated mess."

"And besides," Ludwig muttered under his breath, "no one in our family would be wrong and disgusting like that. We were raised better, even _you_ were."

_Yeah, about that..._

"And if you _did_ come out, well then to me you wouldn't be a brother. Just a queer who's always around my spreading diseases around the house."

 _Ouch_.

_Well shit._

Gilbert sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing his temple again, trying to deal with a migraine he could feel coming on. This wasn't great at all, was it? If Ludwig felt like that... god knows how his dad would react...

"You _bastard..._ " Michelle snarled, obviously hearing his mutters to Gilbert. She ignored the lesson that was just beginning. "You would even reject your own family just because they don't have the same sexual orientation as you? You narrow minded... judgemental... _prick_."

"Oh ouch," Ludwig drawled sarcastically. "Let me get on with my work, Michelle."

"You think I'm going to let you off with an excuse like that? Not likely, genius kid. Though saying that, some 'genius' you are, both Arthur and I scored higher than you the last science test paper."

Ludwig stiffened. _First mistake_ , Michelle thought with an malicious grin to herself, _never show any sign of weakness; I now know your weak point_.

"Why do you think that would bother me?" he bluffed, "I'm a year nine student, I shouldn't even know the definition of a covalent compound, and yet you only beat me by a point."

"You sound awfully concerned about that one point for someone who claims not to be bothered by it," Michelle hissed.

Mr Key spun on his heels, taking a break from writing on the board, "Keep it down at the back!"

Ludwig continued, his tone lower now, "I never even wanted to be with you people in the first place! You're all shallow idiots that copy each other's homework and complain when you get found out! This whole school is just awful. I'm glad I won't be staying here long."

"Oh well I hate to break it to you genius boy, you've got two years left here, unless you plan on skipping those too."

"Don't be ridiculous. I asked my dad to move me out of this hellish place. If my application is accepted, and I see no reason why it wouldn't be, I'm _out_ of here within two weeks!"

"Good riddance! Don't think I'll miss you!"

Ludwig swallowed hard at Michelle's quick reply. She hadn't shown any sign of shock or remorse. He thought that even _she_ might have reacted a little to that. "None of you are my real friends; I much prefer the company of more intellectual individuals rather than those who participate in protecting those who are poisoning the world with homosexuality."

"You leave Arthur _out_ of this!" Michelle was no longer being quiet.

"He was in it from the beginning! Just because he made a bad life choice and doesn't want to change back!"

" _You think Arthur would change himself to please you!?"_ Michelle looked about ready to _explode_. She rose to her feet slammed her hand on the desk, making those who weren't already watching her with perplexed gazes turn around in their seats. Mr Key turned around at the front of the class, so shocked at what was happening he stood there, dumbfounded for a moment.

Michelle continued, a fire in her heart, her eyes a blazing inferno and her expression that of pure _rage_. "Are you _that_ self absorbed!? You think Arthur would become something he's not to please _you_ , someone he doesn't even _like!?_ I - I can't even begin to understand the _logic_ that got you to that point? Can one person be so conceited that they actually believe that someone would _do_ that!?" Michelle's voice was only growing in volume.

Ludwig climbed to his feet too, looking very ready to form a reply, however was cut off by a knock at the door. Everyone looked up to see Miss Thorn, the head of P.E. and general bitch. She stood there, the eyebrows on her wrinkled old skin raised disdainfully, a look of condescending shock and mock concern on her face.

"Is everything quite alright in here, sir?" she asked, shooting daggers at Michelle and Ludwig, "I trust this isn't some form of speaking and listening exercise?"

"I - I - no, no of course not. I'm not quite sure if everything is alright," Mr Key frowned, eyebrows knitting together, "in fact that was the question I was about to ask. Michelle, Ludwig, would you please explain why you think it is acceptable to scream at one another angrily at the back of my classroom?"

"I...!" Michelle began, just realising she was about to get into trouble because of this. "Sir, you didn't hear the whole thing! I was defending Arthur!"

Mr Key frowned, "I do not discourage you to stick up for your friends, Michelle, though I ask you do it at a more appropriate time!"

"But...! He...!" Michelle let out a half-scream of frustration. Apparently that was all it took to incriminate her.

Miss Thorn made a beeline for the two, "right you two. With me. Now. We're going to sort this out. Get out; go to my office and I'll be with you very soon. We _will_ sort this out and I will make sure you both realise that it is not acceptable to argue while your classmates are trying to learn!"

Bella, Gilbert, Elizabeta and Francis all gazed worriedly after the two as they were practically dragged out of the corridor.

 _Well shit,_ Gilbert thought to himself. This wasn't great.

Francis shot a worried glance at Gilbert, "mon cher _,_ I'm sure your brother will be okay. As will Shell."

"Yeah they'll both be _okay_ but will your group be...? I hate to admit it but it's not like Ludwig has an abundance of friends, and he wouldn't want to stick around with me. So... where's he going to go...?"

"It hurts me to say these words to you, mon cher, but I think at this moment in time we must prioritise ourselves over your brother. We can't have him threatening our friendship because of his medieval views on homosexuality," Francis sighed, "It must be hard for you to be in the middle of it, seeing your brother and your friends argue."

"Nah, Francis, I back you up one hundred per cent there, man. Like yes, he'd my brother, but it's really not fair on you guys! He _is_ being a total dick with all of you, and like Shell said, you didn't ask for him. Okay, I'd prefer for him to be not lonely and such, but right now he pretty much deserves what he's getting."

Their chat was cut short, along with everyone else's as Mr Key snapped out of his gobsmacked state and regained his control of the lesson. "Right everybody! Let us forget about that, and I don't want anyone to be taking a lead from Michelle or Ludwig. Honestly, I expect better of both of them, especially Ludwig. I'll continue, seeing as this is _incredibly important for your exam this summer,_ shall I?"

At the mention of exams, everyone promptly shut up. Exams were scary shit that was not to be messed with. Gilbert sighed, not listening on how to correctly write a formal letter, he honestly didn't care. He was much, much more bothered about what Ludwig had said about rejecting Gilbert as his brother if Gilbert's gayness became apparent.

Gilbert didn't want to keep his real self hidden from his family; he wanted them to see him for who he really was.

But at the same time, he really didn't want to loose a brother.

PAGE BREAK

Kiku awoke that night to the buzzing of his phone. He scrambled about helplessly, at first thinking it was his alarm. However, upon further inspection he noticed that it was still the early hours of Saturday morning, and the racket his phone was making was in fact an incoming call from none other than Gilbert Beilschmidt.

Kiku answered the call, trying to be as polite as he could. That was hard considering it was two in the morning. "Gilbert...? I know we're meant to be meeting up today but I think this is a little early, even for me..."

"What? No, no, forget that Kiku this - this is something - something else," Gilbert sounded incredibly on edge. This woke Kiku up even more, his curiosity peaked, feeling worry beginning to creep up his spine.

"What's wrong, Gilbert?"

"Ehm... I well... I'm outside your house..."

"What!?"

"I'm sorry! I'll explain, but could you - is it too much trouble to let me in? It's kinda raining out here and... I'll explain in a minute." Gilbert was being incredibly polite. Something must be wrong. "I would knock on the door but I wouldn't want to wake your parents. I feel bad enough waking you up..."

"I'll be down in a moment."

Kiku promptly hung up, clambering out of bed and slipping on his dressing gown and slippers, making his way down the stairs as quietly as he could.

Opening the door revealed a wet Gilbert standing, shivering on the doorstep. Upon seeing Kiku, Gilbert immediately burst into an unexpected wave of tears, wordlessly reaching out, clinging to Kiku, apologising through his sniffles.

"Gilbert...!" Kiku whispered into the boy's shaking structure, trying to angle himself so he could close the door. "What's wrong!?"

"I - I should have listened to you and Arthur - oh god why did I...? I'm so fucking _stupid!_ The two smartest people I know advise me not to do something, and I go and fucking do it and fuck everything up!" Gilbert cried into Kiku. Before Kiku could ask what Gilbert had actually done so wrong, the boy had launched into a teary explanation.

"I told my dad I was gay. It wasn't even spontaneously... I was about to get ready for bed, I thinking about it, about coming out and... I started to get _so angry!_ I wanted the right to be respected for who I was! So I marched into my dad's bedroom, luckily he was awake, he was working, but I said I needed to talk to him - I told him, and... and..."

Gilbert sobs got more frantic at this point, "He looked so fucking _ashamed_. I told him and he looked at me like he didn't even _know_ me... then he looked like he was going to get really, really angry; I - oh god I never thought I'd be so terrified of my own _father_. But in that moment he was like a man I'd never even _met_... Kiku I'm so fucking scared. "

Staring down at Gilbert, utterly dumbfounded at what he was hearing, Kiku felt totally lost for words, only able to stroke Gilbert as reassuringly as he possibly could. Finally he found himself able to stutter out, "but Gilbert, how did you get here?"

"I walked," Gilbert admitted, sounding guilty. He knew how badly that would go down with Kiku.

Sure enough, Kiku's mouth had dropped, " _Gilbert!_ It's _two in the morning!_ You live ages away from here! You'd have to walk over the field to get here! Gilbert you could've...! Anything could have happened to you! You can't just get up and walk places in the middle of the night! And it was raining - oh goodness Gilbert you - I -"

Soon it was Gilbert patting Kiku to keep him calm. "I'm so, so sorry for worrying you, Kiku, but there was nothing else I could do - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for waking you up, and I'm sorry for troubling you like this, oh my god I'm an awful friend."

"No that is not what we're worried about here, Gilbert! I never said I was bothered about you waking me up in the middle of the night; I'm just so shocked and worried that you walked here! You could have at least got a taxi! What if you'd been hurt? Or worse? Oh my god...! Why didn't you walk to Arthur's? He lives so close to you!"

The two paused, just imagining what the situation would be like if Gilbert had gone to Arthur's. Gilbert could only imagine Arthur bursting into tears of worry and distress, and screaming at him about being a reckless idiot for walking in the middle of the night, and then proceeding to wake up the entire house with his motherly lectures, ending in a night of pissed off Kirkland family members, an Arthur who would be shitting himself in worry, and a Gilbert who would be having so many self-destructive thoughts that he may as well be a suicide bomber.

"Actually I can see why you didn't go to Arthur," Kiku muttered, having similar thoughts.

"Please don't tell him," Gilbert begged, "he's only going to have an unnecessary heart attack if he finds out. He might even try and talk to my dad and holy fuck that is an awful idea."

Kiku nodded, "I won't tell Arthur, but I think that maybe you should once this is all sorted out. I would take a guess that Arthur would feel incredibly hurt if you didn't tell him something big like this."

Gilbert nodded, "I'll try my best."

There was a pause, both trying to calm down their breathing from the sheer adrenaline of the situation. "So I can assume you'll be wanting to sleep here tonight?"

"If that's okay," Gilbert said in a quiet voice, feeling bad.

"I'll just check with my parents... I have a feeling they're awake, anyway." Kiku nodded at Gilbert, padding quietly up the stairs, and knocking lightly on his parent's door.

He walked inside and sure enough, Kiku's parents were sitting up in their beds, bedside lamps on and both looking rather concerned.

Kiku spoke to the two of them in Japanese, "Mum, dad, is it okay if-"

"We heard it all, son," Kiku's dad cut him off, "Bad language and all."

"Gilbert-kun can stay here as long as he needs. Make sure to offer him something to eat, too, Kiku. It must be horrible for the poor boy to be going through this..."

With a nod, Kiku slipped out of the room, thanking his parents. After stopping in the bathroom to grab a clean, warm towel, back down the stairs Kiku came, presenting the towel to Gilbert and insisting for him to dry himself off.

"My parents said it's okay for you to stay as long as you need, Gilbert. I hope you can mend this with your father soon," Kiku sighed. "Oh! But I don't mean that as in to say that I want you to be gone from here soon! I can just imagine it must be a horrible position for you to be in and - and -"

Gilbert chuckled a little, putting his hand over Kiku's mouth. "Shh, Kiku, it's okay I get you, no need to stress. But thank you so much. Thank you for caring."

"On the contrary, it would be hard to make me stop caring. Now come into the kitchen and let me make you some tea."

Gilbert felt rotten inside; this was literally the worst night of his life. However, as he walked into Kiku's inviting kitchen, he could feel a small bubble of happiness battling with his despair, and although it may not have won the war, it certainly won the battle as an uncontrollable smile found its way onto his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this time, sadly. Ludwig is OOC I know, I am so sorry! My pathetic excuse is character development!!! I promise he will flourish!! Also Gilbert was soppy and lame, but I get the feeling that even the coolest of the cool kids would be tearful if his dad had basically rejected him there and then, and he'd been made to run through the pouring, awful British rain to his friend's house in seek of a bed and roof over his head.
> 
> Thanks again for any form of support; seriously you're all wonderful for taking time out of your lives to tell me what you think of my writing. It is inspiring. Thank you one and all!


	5. Get your Skates On

**Chapter Five: Get your Skates On**

Sunday nights were pretty much always just last minute homework and dread of the coming threat of school. Arthur's wasn't. They hadn't been like that for a few Sunday's past, now. Yes, they'd been full of the sickening guilt of unfinished homework like usual, but something was certainly responsible for the grin that seemed to be permanently occupying his face for most of the night.

To put it simply, Alfred F Jones was the reason, though then again when wasn't he the reason for anything that affected Arthur recently?

Arthur couldn't believe his eyes when it had first happened. He'd been sitting there in his room like usual, trying to block out Alastair's awful drumming when suddenly came the chime of the messaging tone. He didn't think much of it as he'd switched tabs, probably just Mei asking him if he was coming to band tomorrow.

But it wasn't Mei. Arthur nearly fell off his chair when he saw _Alfred's_ name flashing and begging for his attention. Shakily and curiously, Arthur looked at his message - it was a simple 'hello' with a little smiley face, nothing particularly special. Like that mattered to Arthur - he was more bewildered that... _Alfred..._ had messaged _him_. Alfred had taken his phone, or sat at his computer, or _whatever_ and actually decided, actually _acknowledged Arthur's existence_ and decided to _start a conversation with him_.

This was almost too much to handle!

Arthur then caught himself on. He shouldn't be so happy over five letters and a smiley face.

He then panicked, thinking it might look like he was ignoring Alfred. He typed "Hello" back, but then backspaced it all, frustrated, deciding it sounded all too formal. He settled on a simple, "Hi". A little flat but then again also not to eager.

That had been a few weeks ago. Since then he and Alfred had had quite a few conversations. Sometimes Arthur started them, sometimes Alfred.

_Arthur: What actually is Minecraft, though? Everyone always talks about it and all I know about it is... blocks? My younger cousin Alastair is very fond of it..._

_Alfred: minecraft is pretty awesome! yeah thats basically all there is to it... blocks! you like build stuff and shit but then theres a load of servers which you can do shit tonnes on. man i cant beleieve you've never gone on minecraft! you must play_ some _games?_

_Arthur: Now and then, yes. Gilbert and I sometimes play this RPG with Kiku, I'm quite fond of it. It's nice having a pirate counterpart that can slice apart anything that gets in his way._

_Alfred: hahaha :D thats why i love games! you totally suit being a pirate :D_

_Arthur: Arrrr.  
Arthur: I'm not doing that again. I think I'll just stick to being a pirate in-game._

_Alfred: ahahaha whatever you say, Captain Kirkland! (wow i even capitalized that!) oh! what did you get in your english results? aha knowing you itll probably be an A*what with you being a bit of an english genious :)_

At this point Arthur made a weird squeaking noise and nearly fell off his chair.

_Arthur: I'm not an English genius...! I just listen in lesson. But yes, I did get an A*. But hey, you can't talk Mr-All-A*-in-science-and-maths._

_Alfred: aha i guess, thanks! well we both have the stuff we're good at._

Their conversation continued in a similar fashion for about an hour, before simultaneously deciding that they'd better get some sleep.

_Arthur: Well, night Alfred. See you in science, tomorrow._

_Alfred: night artie! sweet dreams :)_

Arthur now considered himself to be broken, hyperventilating and very, very happy. Fucking American twat making his heart pound at every new message. What an idiot.

Lying down in his bed, Arthur decided that no, _he_ was the idiot, and now it would be very tricky to get to sleep because, well, there was a lively American jumping around in his mind.

It was unusual for Arthur to come into school and not find Gilbert grinning goofily up at him like an idiot. Although his friend was chaotic, he was not in the slightest bit tardy. It was so odd it even sent off a pang of stupid worry in Arthur's stomach, which he quickly dismissed. He'd just overslept; there would be nothing wrong! Don't be such a worrywart, he told himself.

Arthur sat down in his usual seat in his form room, greeting Michelle, Bella, Francis and Elizabeta as they all entered the room. All shared the same confusion that Ludwig was still sitting where he always sat; beside Bella, even after their gigantic argument on Friday. It looked like Michelle was taking all of her patience to not point this out in the rudest way possible to Ludwig, and to resume her screaming at him.

"Where's Gil this morning?" Elizabeta asked, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen upon the group once small talk had been exchanged.

Arthur frowned. "I'm wondering that, too."

Everyone's gaze hovered expectantly over to Ludwig for an explanation. He noticed their gaze. "Well I don't know, he hasn't been home all weekend." He sounded incredibly laid back for such a loaded statement.

" _What!?"_ Arthur shouted in shock, his voice cracking slightly, he coughed, blushing, lowing his voice. "What? Where on earth is he?" Come to think of it, he hadn't been answering any texts...

Ludwig sneered at talking to Arthur. "I don't know."

There was a silence as everyone tried to take in what Ludwig was saying.

"... So you're saying Gilbert has _disappeared_ from your house, and you don't know _where_ he is, why he is there, or even if he's okay? And by your tone, you don't seem to care, either?" Elizabeta said very gingerly, knowing that someone was going to blow any minute, whether it was Ludwig, Michelle or Arthur, only time would tell.

Shrugging, Ludwig simply frowned. "He's just trying to be a rebellious older brother. He's causing enough trouble for dad as it is, the fact he has the nerve to run off like this simply doesn't bother me."

Michelle blew up first, " _He - is - your - brother - you - machine -"_

She was cut off by the arrival of the famous rebel himself, Gilbert.

His entrance in the room certainly caused a bit of stir; Elizabeta and Francis both expressed their relief in unison, Bella gasped, holding her hand to her heart as if Jesus was walking the earth once more, Ludwig's face set into a minimalistic line of aversion, which simply made Michelle look ready to throw the entire stationary cupboard at Ludwig.

However the most drastic reaction by far was Arthur's. Arthur had been sitting in worried silence as everything had been going on, all of the worst scenarios playing out in his head; what if he'd run out in the middle of the night over something really stupid, what if he'd fallen into a ditch and broken his leg, what if he'd gotten drunk and wound up halfway across the country impossibly, what if he'd been targeted by a serial killer, or accidentally formed a British Mafia - what if - what if -

But Gilbert entered the door; he was breathing and he was moving. All of Arthur's relief escaped him at once, bringing him straight to his feet and marching over to Gilbert angrily.

"Yo, Artie!" Gilbert said, slightly breathily as if he'd run to get in before the bell.

"Don't you bloody 'Yo, Artie!' me, Gilbert Beilschmidt! What the _hell_ are you playing at running away for a weekend and not telling anyone where you're going!? Anything could have happened to you, _anything!_ There'd better be a fucking _good_ reason why you were that _fucking_ stupid, and I'm fucking waiting so you'd better spit it out!"

Gilbert blinked several times. "What - how did you know about...? Arthur, Arthur, calm down, please, look I'm okay! I'm alive! There's no need to worry!"

" _It is not okay - there - is - every - need - to -_ _ **worry**_ _!_ I swear to _god_ Gilbert if you don't explain in two seconds I will seriously fucking hit you very, very hard."

"Wow, okay, you're serious, okay I get that. But don't worry, please, I'm fine. I'm staying at Kiku's okay?"

"But - _why_?" Arthur demanded.

"I-I can't tell you right now," Gilbert said his tone dropping, now his voice sounded sombre and serious. Suddenly something else caught his attention. "Arthur - what, you're _shaking?"_

Arthur looked up furiously to meet Gilbert's gaze properly, Gilbert was shocked to see them looking an awful lot more moist than usual, not crying yet, but on their way there. "Of course I'm shaking you utter twat! I'm _worried_ \- I'm fucking pissing myself with worry here!"

Gilbert blinked, bewildered. "I - _oh._ "

Neither had anything more to say, and, other than Arthur's impatient tapping of his foot, all was silent between the two.

"Um, Gilbert, you know this isn't finished with just because you're okay," Elizabeta said, frowning.

"We all want to know what happened, I mean Jesus, are you okay?" Francis' eyebrows were beginning to knit together in a neatly plucked line.

"I don't particularly care what happened..." Ludwig mumbled.

"You don't fucking count," Michelle hissed back.

Gilbert didn't seem to hear the conflict between Ludwig and Michelle, or at least pretended not to. He was more focused on everyone's reactions. Truth be told, he'd dawdled to school this morning, telling Kiku to go on ahead so he could 'have a think'. He'd been pretty... shocked on how _normal_ everything was. No one was calling the police, no one had even _noticed_ his absence apart from his dad and his brother. It was a bit of a slap in the face, really. He knew it didn't mean people didn't _care_ about him, nor that they were bad friends. It was just so terrifying how easily erased someone was.

"I... I'm kinda glad you guys are worried..." Gilbert chuckled, but then realise that, oops, that really wasn't a good thing to say. Arthur looked about ready to punch him, while Francis and Elizabeta were both looking a little peeved. "No! Not like that! I mean I don't want you to be worried, of course, but - but it's nice to know you all care enough to be bothered to be worried!"

There was a pause. Francis chuckled, and Arthur still looked ready to punch him.

"Of course we fucking care you twat, but this is not the time to be evaluating how valued you are to your friends! This is the time to fucking explain why my heart has been working overtime the past fifteen minutes!"

"Artie, Artie, calm dow-"

" _ **Calm down!?**_ _Don't you fucking dare, Beilschmidt!"_

This went on for a few minutes before Elizabeta got up, and pushed the two out of the door. "There you go," she said, "you can talk out there and be sure no one will hear you."

She came back inside, clapping her hands. "Those two are idiots and totally going to be married in five years time."

Outside, Gilbert and Arthur stood face to face, and as Gilbert quickly explained his exhilarating weekend, Arthur's expression of pure rage slowly morphed into that of a concerned mother. Gilbert was beginning to regret telling him almost, he looked near to tears from the news.

"You mean... he - he kicked you out?" Arthur's voice shook.

"No, no, I ran out, but it didn't feel like I was... welcome." Gilbert scratched the back of his neck, avoiding Arthur's gaze.

"But... Gil... why didn't you come to my place?" Arthur sounded heartbroken. Gilbert didn't need to glance at Arthur's face to know that his jade eyes would be sparkling dimly, his big eyebrows pulled up at a heart-wrenching angle. Gilbert almost wanted to run away again just because of the guilt.

"I - I know, I'm sorry, mate. This is why I didn't want you to find out..."

"You weren't going to _tell_ me?" Arthur's tone was as hurt as an abandoned puppy.

Gilbert stood there, basking in the remorse. _Way to go, Gil._

 _"_ No, no, I - not in that way Arthur! I trust you, but I just knew you'd react... _like this_. This is all so much unnecessary stress for you, and your family would've been pretty pissed with me if I'd turned up on their doorstep at 2am...!"

"Like Kiku's family wouldn't be!"

"Yes... yes you're right... I - I just didn't want to cause you any trouble!"

"Bullshit."

Gilbert jerked at Arthur's retort. "No really, really, believe me Arthur, please, mate. I really didn't want to cause a big stir in your family, and also... I don't know... I didn't want you to see me when I was so... _low_. I was seriously pathetic. If you'd seen me you'd probably be rushed into hospital with heart failure."

Arthur's tone was less hurt now after being given a half-decent reason. "Okay. But Gil, please, can you just trust me with these things in future? This is selfish of me to ask, but it does kind of... hurt when you don't tell me these things. It almost makes it seem like I'm nothing more than another guy to you."

"Oh Artie you're anything but 'another guy', man, you're my bestie! I don't care if I sound like a chick in an American RomCon, you be my BBF, babes." Gilbert sloppily tried to hug Arthur, but the Brit shoved him off, but ruffled his hair in appreciation. "Just don't tell Ludwig though, 'kay? Please."

"You don't even have to warn me. I have experienced firsthand to how he feels about 'our kind'."

"Yeah... Sorry about that, man..." Gilbert said with a sigh. He was ashamed of his brother.

The two made their way back inside the form room, only to want to walk right back out, as Michelle was lecturing Ludwig very loudly as to how he was a heartless dickhead for not caring where Gilbert had been all weekend. Ludwig didn't seem to be listening.

This was going to be a long day.

Arthur made his way down the English corridor, smiling to himself. Separate science had certainly been a pleasant lesson, he thought. Mr Leroy had decided that the easiest way to explain chemical bonding would be visually, so he had selected Antonio, Feliciano and Lovino to come and stand at the front of the class. Antonio and Feliciano were made to link arms, until Mr Leroy explained that Antonio simply wasn't attracted to Feliciano, the iron of the compound, and that Lovino, the potassium, was _much_ more attractive, so Feliciano was promptly shoved out of Antonio's arms, and replaced with Lovino. Of course there had been many half-jokey comments from the class and a lot of swearing from Lovino.

Also Arthur was particularly pleased as he and Alfred were told to go and make a coffee for Mr Leroy, meaning the two of them were standing in the science staff room for a good five minutes while they were waiting for the very, very slow kettle to boil. Arthur was glad it was slow; they'd had rather a pleasant conversation.

He was glad it was English, Arthur thought. It would be nice to see Gilbert, after all.

Soon enough, Arthur was in the English classroom. He nodded at Mr Key in greeting, who in turn nodded back before scrambling about his messy desk sorting out a pile of books that looked about to fall and wreck his entire desk.

"Yo, Artie!" Gilbert called, grinning and waving wildly.

"Hello," Arthur said, smiling slightly as he sat down, turning quickly to smile at Michelle and the others.

"How was separate science?"

"S'alright," Arthur nodded, getting out his things before turning to Gilbert properly so they could talk about how Gilbert regretted his very stupid decision of picking Home Economics as a subject.

Mr Key stood up, telling the class that he just needed to photocopy some sheets, and that he would be back in a minute, and that they should stay very quiet. Naturally the minute the teacher left, the room exploded into chatter that was probably audible from the PE department, which was halfway across the school.

Gilbert and Arthur continued their mindless chatter, until they felt a presence above them. They looked up to find Matthew peering down at them.

"Hiya Mattie," Gilbert said, sounding mildly surprised. "What's up?"

"Gilbert is it true that you came out to your dad...? And... And ran away because he flipped out at you...?"

Everybody froze. Suddenly the quietest student in the class was the one with the loudest voice; a sentence that had been meant for only Gilbert's ears had made its way into the entire classes. Never before had Arthur seen a group of students become silent in an instant, with such spontaneous synchronisation. Gilbert's face was that of utter despair. He stared up at Matthew, jaw hanging open, unable to say a word with the sheer overwhelming shock that was beginning to make it feel as if his arteries were freezing over. Arthur daren't breath for fear of breaking Gilbert.

There was a sudden rush of muttering, homophobic comments shadowing the few whispers of support, others simply laughing, and then some that were worried about Gilbert running away, others suspecting a relationship between Gilbert and Arthur, more familiar voices beginning to rise in volume, Michelle, Bella, Francis, Elizabeta, all rising to their feet, trying to calm everyone down.

But cutting through all of the commotion loud and clear was of course Ludwig's voice.

His chair scraped backwards as he stood up, face scrunched into ugly confusion and the beginnings of contempt. " _What!?"_

Gilbert froze, Arthur winced, resisting the urge to shield Gilbert in the form of a hug; that would only make things a million times worse. He had no idea what to do in support of his best friend, so he just sat their limply, his heat feeling like it was dangling off a cliff's edge, hopelessly watching as Gilbert also got up, turning to face his brother.

"You heard it." Gilbert hadn't sounded this unemotional for a long time. It was scary. He sounded tired of it all... _dead_.

"And would you care to explain it!?" Ludwig spat.

"I'm bent, dad's pissed, I'm not at home, if you hadn't realised." Gilbert said simply.

"I - And when was I going to find out about this!?" Ludwig said.

Gilbert only shrugged.

"Why wasn't I told!?"

"I don't know, maybe because you'd react like a fucking dickhead about it!?" Gilbert's voice was rising. Oh dear.

"You're my _brother!"_ Ludwig's was too. _Oh dear._

"Yeah, I know! You'd think maybe you'd be a little more accepting!"

"It's not my fault you're the anomaly of the family! You mean to tell me _these people,"_ he motioned to Arthur and the others, "found out before _me_ that you're a f- that you're gay!?" Ludwig shouted.

"Think it through! Who am I more likely to tell? My friends, who will say ' _oh don't worry, Gil, I'm not exactly a straight ruler either!'_ or my own little brother who overreacts to the point I'm worried he might be hiring an exorcist for me to 'rid me of the disease'!"

Ludwig didn't have a leg to stand on, but he continued the best he could, only this time it was Michelle, again, to oppose him.

"Ludwig just fucking _accept_ that you're fucking _wrong!_ You don't have to like gay people, but _you don't have to be gay!"_ She said, her voice booming. The brothers turned to look at her, eyes widening.

"You know, Ludwig, you are an _actual_ fucking shithead, you know that?" Arthur also rose now, feeling empowered as the three of them glared at Ludwig, fire in their eyes.

It was then that some idiot, probably Mathias, who began chanting, " _fight, fight, fight!"_ and before long, half of the room was joining in with the chant. Arthur found it oddly tempting to smash Ludwig's nose in. Though, no, he couldn't do that. Yao had always taught him that the first rule of karate was to only counter attack, and never to start a fight.

But he wasn't doing karate right now...

"What is the meaning of this? Again!"

Mr Key had returned from the far off land of the photocopier, and was standing in his doorway, jaw hanging open as the chants quickly stopped, and everyone looked very busy writing the date. Everyone apart from Gilbert, Arthur, Michelle and Ludwig, who were all on their feet, looking very sheepish upon Mr Key's entry.

Arthur couldn't help but feel a little sorry for his poor English teacher; everyone seemed to argue in this lesson.

"All of you get down to the English office _now._ I can assure you that we will sort this out once and for all, and never again will my English lessons be interrupted by social affairs between students, no matter how important they mean to you!"

Their heads hanging, one by one, Gilbert, Arthur, Michelle and finally Ludwig trailed out of the classroom and into the corridor. Bella, Francis and Elizabeta stared hopelessly after them.

"I heard about what happened to all of you in English," Kiku said, poring a cup of tea for himself and Gilbert.

"Ah. Yeah. That."

"How did it go in the end?"

Gilbert sighed, taking his tea with a thank you. "Mr Key was pretty cool about it, considering the circumstances. He lectured us for a bit, but shit he's an English teacher, that's what they do. We had to explain what happened and man, the guy seemed pretty concerned. I left out the part about me running away though. But he wanted to have words with Ludwig 'in private' so I have no idea what they might've talked about. Probably some stuff about 'you have to accept your brother for who he really is'."

Kiku smiled, "you do manage to get away with an awful lot."

Gilbert chuckled, but was cut off by the doorbell.

"Sorry, excuse me for a moment," Kiku went into the hall, and the door clicked open. "Oh! Arthur-san...!"

Gilbert ran into the hall. "Artie? What're you doing here?"

"Oh good you are here," Arthur said, though sounded out of breath as he came inside, taking off his shoes and following the two through to the main room. "Gil - I... I spoke with your dad."

"What!?" Gilbert said, looking betrayed. Even Kiku looked remotely shocked.

"Don't worry - hold on let me explain." Arthur sat down next to them.

"I'll get you a cup of tea," Kiku said.

"That would be lovely, thank you Kiku. Okay, so, yeah. I walked around to your house when I knew Ludwig would be in athletics, and of course your dad answered the door. The minute he saw me... well he looked relieved more than anything. We got talking, he asked me to run over the situation from _your_ point of view, so I did, telling him how you were upset and felt unsafe and like you would be shunned in this environment. So then I asked for _his_ side of the story...

"Basically over the weekend he's been flipping his shit, as you would phrase it, like any father would, or should, in this situation. He reacted like he did out of immediate shock, and well, he _did_ have the same mindset as Ludwig before you told him that you were queer. Basically at first he was infuriated about you being gay, but then he realised he cared a hell of a lot more about you than some stupid rules in a stupid book. He's been trying to contact you all weekend (I explained your phone had run out of battery), and, luckily he found out that you were staying here. He's been speaking to Kiku's parents at least once every day since you left, and he's ensuring with them that you're happy and healthy. The reason he hasn't come to get you yet, is he felt that by coming to get you it might seem... it might seem like he was forcing you to do something you didn't want to do. If you were to stay here for over a week, he told me then he would come and negotiate with you, but for the most part wanted to leave you to be independent and come around on your own." Arthur took a sip of his tea, thus concluding his story.

"So... he doesn't hate me...?" Gilbert said slowly.

Arthur shook his head, "he cares. A lot."

Gilbert sat in silence. A moment later, there was a soft whimper, and he began to cry. Neither Arthur nor Kiku made a move to comfort him; they both knew that he needed this time.

"Thank _God_ ," he whispered, taking a sip of tea. A few more sniffles, and he wiped his eyes and blew his nose. He was a bit red in the face and puffy eyed, but he was Gilbert again.

"I can't... really get my head around it. I'm going to need another night away from there... Arthur is it okay if I stay with you. Man, Kiku, sorry I feel so bad for imposing on you and your family. I'll make sure we get you an extra big thank you present or something."

Kiku smiled, "it's quite alright, Gilbert. Arthur-san and I will go and get your things for you."

"I'll come and help, thank you both."

Arthur and Gilbert began their walk back from Kiku's house, exchanging idle chat. Gilbert had to admit, although Kiku's house was lovely and welcoming, nothing could beat the Kirkland's house. Owain's tea and bara brith was both comforting and surprisingly delicious, Alastair's drumming was certainly some of the worst drumming Gilbert had ever heard, but did bring a smile to his face, and Arthur's parents were legendary in the field of debating and discussing existential issues. And nothing, _nothing_ , could beat Arthur's hugs.

He truly felt like he was at home when in the safe, warm walls of the Kirkland household.

Saturday came and so did the groups plans of a day of ice skating. Arthur met up with the others relatively early on the Saturday morning at the local train station.

"Morning, eyebrows," Francis was there already, trying to look cool by leaning against the wall in a typically French way.

"Morning, frog. Did you sleep well? Not that I really care."

"Oh how cold! You match the frosty air of this morning. But it was very pleasant, thank you."

Soon arrived Michelle, Bella and Elizabeta arrived, and onto the slow, scruffy trains the group clambered.

" I must warn you, I've gotten really good at ice skating recently," Francis said, pleased with himself.

"Oh yeah?" Michelle smirked, remembering the last time they'd all been and Francis, while attempting to be elegant and flirtatious, had lost his balance and fallen flat on his face in front of the group of girls he'd been attempting to impress.

"No I really I have! I've been with Matthew, and Jesus he's like a god on ice. He taught me some tricks, and well, guess who can ice skate backwards?" Francis grinned.

"That's so easy, I've been able to do that since I was twelve!" Elizabeta scoffed.

"Wait. Arthur, I seem to remember... Last time we went ice skating..." Bella trailed off, "I seem to remember..."

"Oh yeah! The wimp wouldn't even _get on_ the ice, hardly. And every time he did go on he'd be hanging onto my hand of clinging desperately to the sides," Michelle smirked.

"Of course, how could I forget? I pushed you from behind and got you stranded in the middle of the ice rink! You were like a little deer in headlights, oh it was funny! You were so desparate you even let me hold your hand so I could rescue you!" Francis said, chuckling evilly.

Arthur, who had been getting increasingly agitated, finally said, "shut up all of you. I don't have the best sense of balance, I can admit that! But I will not allow myself to be ridiculed by _you_ _lot_ while I try my hardest to skate on my own! I can do it this time, I just know I can!"

And _,_ Arthur told himself as Bella patronisingly patted him on the shoulder - telling him he could do anything he put his mind to,if he managed to do the seemingly impossible task of ice skating completely on his own, something he'd been aiming to do for years...

... Then surely he'd be able to manage confessing his attraction to Alfred.

Arthur nodded to himself. If he was brave enough to ice skate on his own, then he was brave enough to tell Alfred. That was the deal he made himself.

The ice rink was busy as always on a Saturday. It was hard to keep track of where everyone was, so generally everyone went around in their own pairs. Arthur, being the slow one, went around on his own, though he was perfectly content with that, as he didn't have to suffer embarassment of holding someone up because he couldn't get his shit together on the ice.

Francis hadn't been lying; he _had_ gotten a lot more impressive on the ice. He wasn't fast as such but he was in control. He even managed to spin once or twice.

It was Michelle and Elizabeta that were the faster ones. While Francis and Bella stayed in the middle of the rink, circling slowly and trying out a few tricks, the two girls raced each other around the circumference of the ice, laughing and overtaking each other left right and centre. They must've overtaken Arthur about ten times, now.

Lunch was beginning to creep onto them as their stomachs began complaining. Luckily, there was overpriced, greasy fast food available at the side of the rink.

"Arthur we're stopping for lunch, you want to join us?" Michelle called to Arthur, who was just picking himself up from a fleeting fall.

"No, it's okay, I'll hold out a bit longer! I'm nearly getting the hang of this!" Arthur said, brushing off the ice from his jeans. And he was getting the hang of it.

From trial and error and many falls, Arthur had realised the key to this was bending his knees. If he could skate very slowly, and bend his knees then he could let go of the side here and there. However if he straightened up at any point, or if he didn't keep his balance with his hands, then wham, on the floor he went.

"Okay. Here we go," Arthur took a deep breath, and began to skate. The music was loud, but that actually helped; it allowed him to skate in time to the beat, rather than get distracted by the rumble of universal chatting.

 _Slowly does it, Arthur, you can work on the speed once you get the technique._..

One foot in front of the other; dig the heel in and push off; glide.

Once he got the hang of that, he bent his knees, and bravely pushed off the side. Now there was nothing to hold onto. No hands, No nothing. He took a deep breath, pretending the wall was just an inch or two away as he continued to skate. He surprised himself; he wasn't falling over yet.

Before he knew it, he'd completed a lap of the rink.

And he didn't want to stop either.

Without pausing to catch himself at the side, he continued right around, trying to gain a little more speed, and to stay upright with his arms and back less bent and more relaxed. Yes, okay he fell once or twice, but that was mainly due to stupid kids that speed-skated right in front of him.

"Hey, Artie you're doing it!" Michelle had returned to the ice as she skated up behind him, watching in amazement.

"I know!" Arthur said, eyes not leaving the floor.

"Well done, Artie!" Bella and Elizabeta slid over. Even Francis from the other side of the rink gave him an encouraging wink.

Arthur smiled to himself. He'd done it!

And that meant now he had something else to do...

... Confess to Alfred F. Jones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short again, oops, but yay I wrote it! Sorry Ludwig is always the antagonist; I promise he will redeem himself soon - character development!
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I'm sorry I'm lazy with this fic. I'm just planning a Homestuck fic which I'm really excited about, and I'm also in the middle of trying to sew three dresses. Oops.
> 
> Thank you very much!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and to being, thank you for reading!
> 
> This fic has been an idea I've been entertaining for quite a while, and I'm not going to lie but it is incredibly semi-autobiographical. I planned out the relationships between everyone who is close to me within my school year as a planning exercise. I planned those who're friends with each other, who hate each other, who fancy each other in one big mind map, but then I looked at it and though 'damn, with a bit of dramatic enhancing, this could be a pretty good fic'. So this was born. Before I knew it, I had chosen a fandom, pairing and a set of main character (which 90% of I haven't really used before) and boom, 10,000 word plan and a lot of time later here we are!  
> Also, sorry to blag but I want to leave it here in the first chapter.  
> I hate to admit it, but I don't really get Seychelles, Belgium and Hungary. So if they are horribly out of character, please try and explain to me what I'm doing wrong! Any hints at all are very welcome.  
> Speaking of out of character characters, I will warn in advance: for the first part of the fic, Germany isn't 'himself' and as a result he is so out of character, when reading over it, it makes my face go ':s'
> 
> Once again, thank you for reading! Any feedback is very, very welcome!


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